Flap In Front Or Back

I had a pretty good scare at the office the other day. On my way to the bathroom I passed by a co-worker whom I said 'Howdy' as a greeting. But then I started thinking about how the 'Howdy' sounded. See, I hate the sound of my voice. To me it sounds happy and clear, but when I hear it on a recording the way every one else hears it, it sounds angry and mumbly. I don't know how people understand me let alone why they would talk to me, at best I sound whiny and nasally. At worst I sound like the rumblings of death itself. Sometimes I'll record myself purposely trying to sound upbeat, and it still comes out monotone and depressed. This is also why I do not leave voice messages. I want no possibility of my voice having a permanent record. And since I hate texting, either pick up when I call or miss out. So these things were on my mind as I headed into the bathroom. Once I got in there I started trying different inflections on 'Howdy', trying to find a good sounding one. After doing this for awhile, I realized what I was doing. I was standing at the urinal, looking down, hands occupied, saying 'Howdy' as though greeting a long lost friend. I would have wet myself had I not already been in position. Then I started thinking a mile a minute about how I would have handled the situation if someone had walked in on me. I decided I would have quit my job right then and there if I survived the heart attack. And then I about fainted with fright. I hadn't considered someone might have been in one of the two stalls. My heart didn't beat for about 30 seconds as I very slowly looked to see if anyone was in them. Happily, God had mercy on me that day and no one was there.

I was reminded of that today as I was sitting in one of those stalls. I am a little upset about the experience I've been having lately. Single ply just does not accomplish anything. I don't know when exactly work made the switch but I strongly disapprove. However, the quality of the paper towels has improved. I think someone made a tradeoff. So I went over to our executive administration assistant and told her how unhappy I was with this change. If we have to have one or the other my vote is for the toilet paper. She told me she would make a note of it, but I caught her sarcasm so I shouted at her. If management is only going to give us half the material, then I'm only giving them half the effort. We'll see how they like it.