Contacts and Crushes

Lately, the next challenge (see previous post) has been finding a girlfriend. Throughout all my life I have had one fiasco after the next with girls. Not too long ago I was walking along when I passed by an optometrist's office. I had some time to kill so I decided to get contacts. The doctor happened to have an opening and I got to get waited on right away. I went back into the office and the doctor came in. She was extremely attractive. I put her at a 9 on the lust scale (see future post on cake). I remember during the procedure when she was examining my eyes she had me look in all sorts of directions. Down was my favorite. I felt like a little kid flipping through the lingerie pages of a JC Penny's catalog. Now don't get me too wrong here. Keep in mind I am a red-blooded 20-some year old male afterall. I'll have to post a blog on cake, but for now I'll suffice it to say that personality is more important than looks. And this doctor had personality. Maybe it was just a part of her job but she could hold a conversation. She was witty and intelligent. At the time I knew asking her out would be a mistake because I was going to have to move away in two weeks, but I resolved that if I should ever move back I would look her up again and see if she'd want to grab dinner or something.

A year later I found myself back there. And I was all wound up. I always start shaking during things I really want to get right. You should see me play the piano for an audience. I can't sit still, my leg will be going up and down a mile a minute. Or when I give a speech I can't hold the papers because they'll be shaking so much I can't read them. I have to get around it by memorizing them. So I show up at the doctor's office shaking as usual and ask if I can see her, but I'm told I'll have to schedule an appointment. The soonest available one was the next day. I told them to pencil it in and probably schedule someone else in my place because all I wanted to do was ask a really quick question. After I left I had to laugh. I spent all day at work growing a pair large enough to go in and talk to that doctor only to be told I had to go back the next day. It would seem yet again that a new fiasco was happening. The outrageousness of this was not lost on me. I hadn't seen this person in a year, only had one brief encounter with her, and now I was trying to come in off the street, bother her during her office hours to ask if she'd like to grab food. But I was knew to the area and was trying my best to meet new people, and unfortunately sometimes when you don't know anyone the only way to meet people is to just go up and start talking.

That next morning I took the time to pick out a nice shirt and pants. And I made sure my hair looked nice. All that gushy stuff and then I went back at 10:00. The lobby had a few people sitting around and I walk up to the receptionist and it plays out like this:

-Hi, I'm here for my 10:00 to see the doctor.

Okay, what do you need to see her about?

-Oh, I just need to ask her a quick question.

Mm-hmm, what's it regarding?

-What do you mean? I need to see the doctor.

Yes, but why?

-Do I have to tell you that, I thought these things are personal? (I'm looking around now, and sure enough people are watching to see how this unfolds.)

Yes you do, I cannot let you see the doctor without first telling me why you are here.

-Fine, I just wanted to ask her out to dinner, but if she's married let me know to spare me the embarassment.

Ooooh, I see. I thought you were a saleman (I dressed a little too nice?). Well, the doctor is married but go on ahead and have a seat while I go get her.

-Oh, thanks for telling me. The last time I was here she wasn't wearing a ring. I'll just be on my way.

No, have a seat while I go get her. You have to pay her the compliment.

-Excuse me?

Sit down and wait for me to go get her.

-Wait can't you just tell her for me.

No you need to do it in person, it will mean so much more.

-No thanks, I'm out of here.

SIT DOWN!

So I sat down, in front of everyone who weren't even pretending not to look, and she went off. A second later she comes back and says the doctor will be right out. It felt like 10 minutes. I even helped hold the door open for the delivery guy. After forever, the doctor comes out grinning like the Chesire cat.

Come on back.

-Oh, that won't be necessary.

Come on back, it's fine.

-I just had to ask you a quick question.

Come on back. (And she turns her back and starts walking to her office, leaving me there with no choice but to follow.)

-I just wanted to ask you out to dinner, I didn't know you married. The last time I was here you weren't wearing a ring. (All of that came out in about 1 second as we were walking back).

Now we are in her office. She is leaning against the wall, and I am propped up against her desk which is now all that is holding me upright.

So how's work? I see you got the job.

-Work is lovely.

It's going well for you?

-Yes. Work is very good. I like it a lot.

Well I'm glad you stopped in. You should feel free to come back anytime.

-Oh, I'll be back real soon.

No really. It's fine, stop on by anytime.

-Well eventually I'll have to get these (pointing to my eyes) refilled.

And that was about the end of it. It's funny how the small things stood out. As I walked back to the car, some middle-aged guy stopped me to tell me he was going to be a famous movie star like (actor's name I never heard of). I thought he was going to ask me for money, but no, he just wanted to tell me he was going to be a star.

All the rest of that day and next I had nothing but butterflies in my stomach. But I'm still pretty pleased. See, I don't have many friends in town so meeting new people is difficult. I have little choice but to go up to complete strangers and say 'Hi'. This was by far the boldest thing I had ever done.

. . .

Several months later I found myself back at the doctor's office. I needed a refill on my prescription and the only way to get it is to have another examination. Going back wasn't as difficult but I was thinking about how it would pan out. Afterall, it did seem as though she remembered me the second time I was there from our initial encounter a year prior based on our conversation. So would she still remember me? That whole appointment I really wanted to ask her about what she thought about me coming in off the street asking her out. It was the curiosity of it all. But I didn't. For once in my life I kept my mouth shut. She gave little if any indiciation that she remembered me, and I wasn't about to bring it up. Disappointingly, looking down lost its fun. Can't go around taking peeks at a guy's wife. Stupid lucky guy. But even going back and keeping my mouth shut was a small victory for me. A couple dear friends of mine make fun of me for being an aspie (a person with aspergers syndrome), because of my social tendencies. But despite how much I wanted to bring it up, I kept quiet.

Right now my prescription is less than half gone so I've got a while to go yet before I have to see her again. Maybe there'll be an update to this next year.