Let Him Eat Cake

When talking with my parents, I have found they do not always get when I am joking around. I can't really fault them, they're just trying to look out for their little boy, but sometimes they take my failed attempts at humor a little too far. Two Fridays ago was my birthday. It just so happened this year that my birthday fell on the day that most people around here venture back home for Thanksgiving. So when my Dad called me earlier in the week and asked what I was going to be doing, he thought I really meant that I was going to "cry myself to sleep." That was just my way of saying no one was going to be around. I was going to be alone yes, but not necessarily lonely; I'm very good at keeping myself entertained. Well that Friday morning I got a call from Dad saying that he and Mom were going to be at my apartment at quarter to four. They were already in Cincinnati at 9 in the morning, house hunting (upcoming post), and they had their bags packed and my presents in the trunk. So I had to assure them that I was not going to be crying myself to sleep and that there really was no need for them to come since I was heading over there in less than a week anyway for Turkey Day. And as it turned out, one of my friends did stick around long enough Friday night to take me out for dinner, so things turned out pretty good after all.

Also earlier that week, again while I was talking to Dad, I told him in a mocking anger sort of way that I was extremely displeased that Mom did not send me a cake this year. The past few years Mom has been sending me cakes. Typically they are angel food cakes (maybe you'd call them sponge cakes), but last year she managed to send me a vanilla cake that was frosted. These cakes are usually just exceptionally large cupcakes, since I'm the only one around to celebrate, but I think it's sort of comically absurd that Mom actually bakes and sends me a cake through the regular mail. But Dad not catching my mock anger, was concerned that I was going to be sad at not having any cake this year. So Mom got onto Craigslist and found a lady here in town who makes cakes from scratch, and had that lady make me one. When I came home from work Friday night I found the security gate where I live had this giant cake sitting for me. The thing about it was that the lady didn't wrap it. She just sat the cake on a big dish and gave it to the security officer. The cake was impressively large, it was double layer about 4 or 5 inches tall and 9 inches in diameter. It wasn't so tasty as Mom's cakes, which are fantastic although I may be a bit biased, but it was still very good. I've got a picture of it below.

In the end my birthday did turn out to be very good. I got to see a bunch of friends and ate very well all day long. There were a few problems, in particular I did not get one of the presents I wanted, but I want to save that for an upcoming post. Speaking of which, I have a number of posts I want to write up, but I keep having to set them aside for other more pressing matters. Hopefully this upcoming month will have a better showing than this past one.

Loss of the Majestic Mountains Versus Death

Recently the United States Preventative Services Task Force made some new recommendations regarding the screening for breast cancer. The new recommendations say that woman 50 and older should receive a mammogram every 2 years, which is a change from the old recommendation of every year for woman 40 and older. In addition they now recommendation that self-examination should no longer be educated. The reasoning is that "there is moderate or high certainty that the service has no net benefit or that the harms outweigh the benefits. "

I am no doctor, so my thoughts have little weight, but these new recommendations sound awful. From what I can gather, these recommendations are based on the idea that the associated risk of these procedures outweighs the potential benefits. But the only risk I know of that comes with a mammogram or self-examination is a false positive. There's no real detrimental health side-effect going on. You just find out that you actually don't have a deathly disease. So maybe there's a few weeks of anxiety, at worst the woman just decides to lop them off.

Since I first saw the posting, there's been an update which says that woman between 40 and 49 may warrant mammogram studies based upon family history and some other factors. Essentially it's a case-by-case basis.

But I'm not convinced even the old recommendations were good enough. My Mom got breast cancer in her early thirties with no family history. In fact, when she got it she was the first on either side of the family to have cancer and some members of the family put the blame on her. Anyway the first time Mom got it, it was diagnosed by a physical examination during a routine checkup. She then had some x-rays taken but they didn't show anything (remember this was early 90s). Wanting a second opinion she went to a different doctor who said the x-rays are worthless and he performed some sort of needle test on her. That confirmed it. Then a few years later, now we're probably in her early forties, her yearly mammogram found the beginnings of some new tumor growth. At this point she decided to just get rid of them. This was because the first round of treatments was quite awful for her. She blames the chemotherapy on memory loss, and the rest of her treatments on a permanent soreness in her right arm. Even today, almost 20 years later, we aren't supposed to touch Mom's right side. Although she has noticed that recently some of her lost memories will bubble up out of the blue. She can remember more events from her childhood.

So my point is that Mom got breast cancer twice, with no previously known family history or dispositions to it. And it was diagnosed by the very procedures, physical examination and mammograms, that the doctors are recommending against. Before she got cancer she was the definition of health. Probably the worst thing she consumed was coffee with 'Sweet and Low' (saccharin was the sweetener back then). If these doctors who made these new recommendations had been around back then, I could very well have a dead Mom. Alright there's always an exception to the rule, and maybe my Mom was that exception, but if the risk involved is simply a false positive I just simply cannot understand their reasoning that a false positive which at worst leads to surfboard outweighs the benefit of a positive reading which definitely leads to death. To me that sounds like a 15 year old. "Us doctors feel that you'd be better off dying than having to go through life without your breasts."

Potential Donor

Here's a quick story from the retreat. On Saturday night during the reunion, Monsignor made a beeline for me. He said "Hi Greg." Right away I was surprised because I didn't think he knew me other than my face. We had chit-chatted here and there in the past and he's certainly seen me in Confession plenty of times, but I didn't think he knew my name. Anyway, he comes running up saying hello, and then he says "I didn't know you own a Jag." So I explained to him that yes, I've had it now for about 7 months, it's a 2000 and has just over 100,000 miles on it. He said he was driving by and couldn't believe someone at the reunion would have one. So he wrote down the license plate and called up his police buddy to run the plate. And sure enough the officer said it belongs to me. Monsignor said he was hoping the owner was a multi-millionaire, to which I replied it's a work in progress. It was sort of cute, him hoping I'm some potential big donor.

Chatty Cathy

This past weekend was the Koinonia retreat. We had 25 participants and I think it went well. I didn't blunder through my talk which was good, and I was even asked to speak again tomorrow night at Mass. If you'd like to read my talk I've got it posted here. The intro is a bit specific to the retreat but after that it stands by itself. Since the retreat I've been a bit busy with different activities, but I will be trying to update more frequently. Unfortunately I don't have any good stories to tell at the moment. Still if you read all the way through the talk that will give you plenty enough of me for the time-being.

Niceness has its perks

Last night a friend and I drove over to Kankakee to meet up with a lady, I've never met before, in a parking lot at 'Baker's Square' who had 65 sausages for us.

I could explain all that but it's far more interesting sounding to just leave it at that. Anyway while I was there, my friend who I drove up with had to use the restroom and we went on into the restaurant. During the time she was tinkling I talked to the staff, got a Diet Coke (so much better tasting than regular Coke) and looked at all the pies they had on display. Baker's Square is a pie joint and they had all sorts of pies behind a glass counter. When she came out from the restroom we made to leave. But as we were walking out the door the Assistant Manager called us back into the restaurant. He said he wanted to give us something. And he goes into this big refrigerator and pulls out two pies, a chocolate silk and a french apple. He said that they were getting ready to close soon and these pies would just be thrown away tomorrow and he wanted to give them to us since we looked like nice people! I wondered if I had anything to do with that. I had been looking at those pies pretty intently and he might have had some sympathy for me thinking I really wanted one. In reality I was just really curious about the pie types and ingredients being used. I get it from my Mom, the bakery queen. Interestingly while I was looking at all those pies I had been thinking about what happens to them at the end of the day. Now I know. They give them away to nice looking people.

One of Two Certainties

The state of Illinois has apparently not heard of my sensationalism. I am okay with this simply because I want them to be focused on what my taxes pay its workers to do. Nevertheless, had they heard of my greatness and how I never make mistakes they would not have chosen to audit me and send me a $350 bill for mis-representing my income by $9,000 back in 2007.

In 2007 I resided in Colorado and Illinois and I had made income in both states, $9,000 of which was made in Colorado. So I called up the state revenue department and calmly explained to them that I don't make mistakes and that it was their problem. Unfortunately, they didn't believe me and told me that I have to fill out an amended 1040 form and show proof that I paid my Colorado income tax by way of tax return. They said the problem is that the income on my federal tax return does not match the income on my state tax return. Oh well, I can't blame them for double checking, the state needs every penny it can get right now.

Speaking of paying for things, as you may know the health care reform passed in the House on Saturday. Now in general I am completely for a universal health care system. Even for the prats who don't deserve it, because I feel even they as all humans have a fundamental right to have access to health care services. But I'm still a bit disappointed, this time it lies with the media. The press has been calmouring on and on about how this is a great victory for Nancy Pelosi. In today's Chicago Tribune, one of the writers gave her a half page spread about how she had to compromise her desires on the bill in order to get enough votes and how wonderful she was to do so. In particular the article brought up the issue of federally funding abortion. Now, if you've read this blog you know what my thoughts are on this matter, so I won't get into them here. My point is that this article praises Pelosi for meeting with the US Bishops, and even went so far as to call a Cardinal over in Rome just to be sure that the language was fashioned in a way that would receive the Catholic Church's blessing. There's two things about this that bug me. First off, and this is Pelosi's problem here, she has no business consulting with foreigners about US policy. I don't care who she's talking to, we've got plenty enough Cardinals overhere to keep her busy. If she want's to have her own spiritual direction with foreigners, that's one thing, but let's keep American politics in America. The second thing, and the point that really bugs me, lies with the article praising her for reaching across the table like this. The Stupak amendment passed on Saturday, banning abortions to be federally funded excepting in a few cases and covers some other matters, but Pelosi didn't vote for it. This is the amendment that is supposed to address federally funding abortion and she said 'no' on the matter. So in reality she didn't compromise any of her views on the matter at all. The press is putting her on a pedestal when she did nothing at all, and that bothers me. It's not Pelosi's fault, it's the press's for making her out to be something she's not, in this case an angel sent from on high.

100

Here we are at the 100th post. What a momentous occasion for you. Having read every post you be should well grown in cultural taste and class, and find your wit sharper, actions wiser, demeanor more charming, faith deepened, and general awesomeness increased. Indeed, these posts have touched upon all aspects of the human condition, and have brought us tears, laughter, happiness and joy. But after 5 months of so much amazingness, here may be a good time to reflect on the highlights. Now I could let you choose them, but since I'm sensational and you're still growing, I'll save you the effort and choose them for you.

1.) Contacts and Crushes: In this post we have a testimonial regarding the physiological nature of man. Aristotle's emphasis on the relation between structure and function is proven relevant. In this case the physical structure of man is shown to have an effect on his function.

2.) Unkempt Underarms: Continuing on with the physiological nature of man, this post explores the effect of structure on the functions of other structures.

3.) Flap in Front or Back: This post stresses the need for finding humor in life's most dire situations. Life can be scary but with the proper perspective amusement can still be found and spirits lifted.

4.) Unofficial: A controversial posting, this time function is shown to effect structure in unpredicted ways.

5.) Me 25 Years From Now: In today's society rarely does the topic of our mortality come up. Well okay, I guess with the health coverage bill in the works people may be thinking about this more than usual. This post calls us to reflect on this theme, and the ever ticking clock.

6.) Annoying Even at Night: Certainly the most commented post, here we find a debate pertaining to the differences between admonishment and judgement, and the ways in which both empathy and sympathy direct our actions and whether or not those emotional responses to others are always appropriate.

7.) Billy Preston > Billy Ray Cyrus: A well received lesson in the importance of having a diverse musical background.

8.) Dessert Drink That Isn't A Shake: An eye-opening experience into the finer side of dessert dining. But even still, I think I'll always prefer ice-cream over pastries.

9.) Squirrel Nests: Another well received post, and the meeting of my parents which is always a highlight. After all these are the people responsible for me being me.

10.) Pepperoni Face: This last highlight is not necessarily my favorite. Certainly the memories are not fond ones. Here no real lesson is being taught, aside from the benefits of copious amounts of sun-screen, but it was still well received.

And there you go. Thanks for reading, I hope the next 100 will be just as much fun.