Saturday, August 8, 2009

Me 25 Years From Now

Gracious. Tonight I decided to take a break and watch a movie on TV. Even though I've seen it before, On Demand had Roadhouse for free in HD and that intrigued me. So I flipped it on, made a frozen pizza, ate half of it, had two huge glasses of orange juice, and then, because the movie is about bars afterall, poured myself an adult beverage. I basically took lots of Grenadine (cherry syrup), ice, a splash of rum and put it in a cup. I was fine sitting there, but when I got up I found I must have poured more than a splash. I was very dizzy. Alcohol for me is like sleeping medicine. Just a swallow is enough to make me want to crash. This is why I hardly ever drink it. Generally, from the moment I spring out of bed until finally late at night when I crash dead, I run on a sugar high all day long. Alcohol brings that crash, and I hate the feeling other than when it's time for bed, and right now it's not time for bed. And clearly I have no tolerance for it, considering how much I had ate for dinner. But despite having a very difficult time keeping my eyes open at the moment, I have something I want to talk about tonight.

Privacy landscaping is an artform. There are all sorts of mediums people will use to create a sense of privacy around their homes. For example, the less inspired may put up a picket fence. I do not like the white picket fence look to create privacy. When the fence comes up about elbow height it's fine, because then it's decoration, but much taller than that and I don't like it. It's not so much the fence itself I dislike as it is what comes with it. White picket fences have to be maintained if they are going to look right. You have to edge the grass around them, which leaves grass stains, and you have to paint them. Both of these actions, edging and painting I hate. Those are the two chores I cannot stand. I will do anything with a smile before those two things. And the problem is, that they are necessary if you're going to have a half way decent looking picket fence. From my experience families do not properly maintain their fences and as a result they look bad. If they would take the time to care for them properly, then I do like the look.

When it comes to privacy I prefer natural plants. For example, one type of barrier I've seen is created by bamboo. I've seen houses that will have bamboo walls marking the boundaries of their lawns. Bamboo is cool because it's exotic. But the problem with it is that it is a grass and as such it will grow everywhere. So before you plant it, you have to make sure you put it in some type of containment otherwise it will take over your lawn. My friend back home planted two shoots in his backyard on the hill side. Now that hill side has a few thousand shoots. And it's not like you can lawn mow a bamboo forest. Another cool type of privacy barrier is pampus grass. I just like the look of the stuff. Its problem is that it is seasonal. So are trees, but with trees the leaves fall for you, while the pampus grass just stays there. This requires you to have to cut it down each year in the fall, and then wait for it to grow back to full height in the spring.

Back home in Chilli-bobo-land, my family has large shrub that prevents the neighbors next door from seeing our patio where we may want to eat out at night. It's a nice shrub that produces large flowers, and is fairly easily to maintain. All you have to do is trim it about twice a year. Trimming I do not mind, but this shrub has grown into a monster. It grows very quickly, so you really do need to trim it twice a year, and it's tall so you have to get a ladder out. This wouldn't be so bad, but the shrub is a bit wide. Consequently to get all of the top you have to perch near the top of that ladder, and reach out blindly with the electric trimmer. It really helps your prayer life, because this whole while you are begging God not to let you or the ladder fall and plunge into that eletric trimmer. The shrub also is covered in pollen. When you start to trim that pollen fills the air so thick its dazzling. It gets in your eyes, lungs and on your skin. And then when you sweat it burns. I was just home last weekend and while I was cutting the backyard, I saw that Dad had increased the sodline around it. Why he did this I'll never know because now it's only going to get wider making it ever the more difficult to get the whole top of it trimmed.

Today he trimmed it, and below is a snapshot my Mom took of him. You can tell by his smile that he is a sick sick man.


You may be wondering why he is wearing a winter hat. When I first saw these photos I thought that maybe he lost all of his ball caps. You see, he is a bit bald on top and the sun will burn his head so he needs to wear something. But then I remembered he has more than one of these caps and it's not like he could have lost them all. So I asked him, "Dad, why are you wearing a winter hat in these pictures?" To which he replied, "I was pretending I was in the hood." Sigh, say hello to future me.

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