Free Bread

Looking at the calendar today, I saw that there were going to be two block parties held downtown. This intrigued me, since generally the younger college students stay away from the downtown area, which makes it a decent place for meeting people closer to my own age. Now the block parties were essentially two concert venues with a bunch of different bands. That makes it difficult to talk to people because of the loud music, but I figured it was better than nothing so I decided to go on out and check out the scene.

As I was getting ready I called Andrew to see if he'd want to come on out. He was already downtown at one of the cafs studying so I met up with him there. From there we then went to another caf that served food so he could eat dinner (I had already eaten). Alright I realize this is a rather mundane fact but I'm mentioning it because while we were the there the caf staff was starting to clean up for the night and one of the workers asked if we'd like some loaves of bread for free. That was pretty fantastic and we both took one. After Andrew finished up and with my loaf of bread in tow we went out to the parties.

The parties were well attended but we didn't see anyone we knew, and no one we'd really like to get to know. However, I noticed one of the waitresses was sort of pretty. Now when it comes to waitresses I've always had the impression that asking them out is just something one doesn't do. I don't know why exactly, but it's always been completely taboo to me. This includes people who serve similar functions such as a grocery store check out lady, or maybe the girl at the video store. You just aren't supposed to ask someone out while they're working. If their out in public then it's fine. Well, I've decided not to let that stop me anymore. But while I was with Andrew I only took notice of her. After walking around for a few minutes we both got bored and decided to call it a night.

When I got home I was a bit frustrated. Here it was 9:30 on a Saturday night and once again no one was calling. I got online looking for a social outlet of some sort and checked my e-mail. But all that was in there were some interesting ads for enhancing me. Apparently these adds don't know I'm stupendous. You just can't enhance stupendous. I deleted those and then just started browsing around. Then I got mad at myself. I knew that if any friends of mine who live out of town were to call me up just to chat because they were lonely and had nothing to do on their Saturday night, I would scream at them to get up and get out and go meet some people. So then I said "fine, I'll go back out and try to engage with that girl."

My reasoning for doing this was because first I'm never going to meet people by sitting here at the computer in my apartment (actually this isn't entirely true and may warrant another blog but for now just go with me). Secondly, I need to get over the difficulties I have trying to meet new people. Third, I shouldn't have double standards and be able to scream at my friends for being idiots when I myself am behaving just like them. Fourth, I needed something to blog about to keep you happy.

I hate going out after 8. If I'm already out and about I don't mind staying out. But actually leaving my place after 8 is a no no. Well at this point it was approaching 10, so going back out was a pretty big deal. When I got there, right away I noticed that while the block party was still packed, she was all by herself, so that was my chance. My plan was again to just ask her if she'd ever like to meet up for a meal or something. It's not very good way to start a conversation but when the nerves are running high it's the best I can do. I go on over and because of the music I lean in and start to ask. But I got all tongue tied. Not that it mattered, she was quick to point out that she has a boyfriend. I put my hand up in that 'I understand' gesture and walked away. This time (see Grocery List), rather than the quickened heartbeat and adrenaline, I had the shakes and butterflies. Nevertheless, I'll still sleep better because at least I went out and tried rather than just sitting around feeling sorry for myself.

But boy is it difficult. Andrew is the only one in town who goes out with me. Actually our friendship is kinda funny. We hang out in order to meet other people. Now you may all think I'm crazy but I'm not (hmm, the Joker said the same thing in the 'Dark Knight'). It's not like I'm not active. I know the easiest way to meet people is by getting involved and I have been involved with several different programs this past year. But it should be possible to meet people at community events like those being held tonight. Yet it so difficult. It seems that everyone is already with a group of friends. And going up all alone and trying to talk to someone is really hard. Now of course I'm ruining it from the getgo by asking something like "wanna hang out sometime?", but it's not like there is a whole lot else to talk about with a complete stranger. It's not like I can just go up to someone and say, "Hey, I find the Method of Moments to be an inefficient algorithm for wire-based antennas because they are resonant structures, how do you feel about the matter?" Usually I find that I have the best luck around the ice-cream and tortilla chip isles of the grocery store. At those two locations I'll go right up to shoppers and tell them what the best brands are. Then they tell me what they like, and I patiently correct them. But that's usually one-on-one and very short lived. It doesn't solve the problem of the public events where typically people are together in small groups.

Oh well, maybe someday I'll figure out a solution and write a book on the matter. At least the evening wasn't a complete waste. I did get a nice loaf of bread out of it.