Not on the Grocery List

When I got back from Charlottesville I found that I needed to stock up on a few essentials: bread, Mountain Dew, and ice-cream. The next day I went out to the grocery store to pick them up. While I was there I saw a girl who seemed to be pleasant. Thus, while I only needed three supplies, I wound up walking down all the isles taking my time to fully inspect all the products. After a little bit I summoned the courage to go talk to her.

Now this is a big deal. Despite the impression this blog may give, I am actually very shy but have a large mouth. I also have very little self-confidence around girls. You see, of the past five girls I've seriously wanted to ask out and start a relationship with, all five dropped me for another guy. Now you may say, well it's my fault for moving away or not asking quick enough. But I don't care what you have to say on the matter, and this is my blog so I will present things however I please, so for the purposes of this entry the past five out of five girls have dropped me for another guy. This last one was the worse, she did it twice! Anyway, my point is that I can have difficulties thinking anyone will take an interest in me so it can seem pointless to try in the first place. Afterall, if I were so interesting, then those five girls wouldn't have found that other guy so interesting.

So there I am with my little shopping cart of three items. In order to make a good impression I decided to get a few more things. Fortunately 'Life' cereal was on sale. That's one of my favorites but it is too expensive for me so I hardly ever get it. I also picked up some a couple boxes of a new brand of spaghetti noodle that hadn't been carried by the store before. With that more adult-looking cart I then proceeded to find her. It didn't take long because I accidentally walked right into her buggy as I was making a turn out of the isle. This was my opportunity but being an idiot I decided I wasn't quite ready and needed to summon a bit more courage.

When I find myself in these situations I try not to think about the situation. Instead I try to trick myself into thinking I'm really about to do something else. Unfortunately only my active conscious is a moron, my subconscious on the otherhand is a genius and knows exactly what I'm up to. As a result several things can happen. My heart beat might quicken. Generally I will always get a surge of adrenaline. Sometimes I will start to shake. And usually I won't think straight so everything I say comes out fragmented or off (like when I told that girl I was going to go eat some french fries).

This time was no different. I postitioned myself stragetically at the back of the store because I had seen that she would be heading where I was next. And sure enough, as I was pouring over the various yogurt flavors, she came around. I noticed that while the store was packed (I had never had to park so far away from the entrance before) when she came around everyone around us started to walk away, and I realized this was my chance if I didn't want to make a scene in front of everybody. I walked up and said "Excuse me." Thinking I was trying to get something she was blocking from my reach she moved on a bit. So I said it again "Excuse me." This time she turned to me and I said "Excuse me, I don't mean to be a creep but I just had to ask if you'd like to get dinner or a drink sometime." She laughed and said "I'm sorry, but I have a boyfriend." To which I replied, "Oh, that's okay. I'm going to go have a heart attack now. Cya." And I got out of there. In all it wasn't too bad. She was nice about it. That was the first time I had ever gone right up to a complete stranger. Always a first I suppose.

Someday I imagine I'll find someone who says yes. Maybe tonight will be the night. I have to head back out because this morning I ran out of milk. As I was typing this I got a phone call from one of my friends here in town. He wanted to let me know that today he asked his girl friend to marry him and she said yes. I'm so happy for him I could cry.