Let Him Eat Cake

When talking with my parents, I have found they do not always get when I am joking around. I can't really fault them, they're just trying to look out for their little boy, but sometimes they take my failed attempts at humor a little too far. Two Fridays ago was my birthday. It just so happened this year that my birthday fell on the day that most people around here venture back home for Thanksgiving. So when my Dad called me earlier in the week and asked what I was going to be doing, he thought I really meant that I was going to "cry myself to sleep." That was just my way of saying no one was going to be around. I was going to be alone yes, but not necessarily lonely; I'm very good at keeping myself entertained. Well that Friday morning I got a call from Dad saying that he and Mom were going to be at my apartment at quarter to four. They were already in Cincinnati at 9 in the morning, house hunting (upcoming post), and they had their bags packed and my presents in the trunk. So I had to assure them that I was not going to be crying myself to sleep and that there really was no need for them to come since I was heading over there in less than a week anyway for Turkey Day. And as it turned out, one of my friends did stick around long enough Friday night to take me out for dinner, so things turned out pretty good after all.

Also earlier that week, again while I was talking to Dad, I told him in a mocking anger sort of way that I was extremely displeased that Mom did not send me a cake this year. The past few years Mom has been sending me cakes. Typically they are angel food cakes (maybe you'd call them sponge cakes), but last year she managed to send me a vanilla cake that was frosted. These cakes are usually just exceptionally large cupcakes, since I'm the only one around to celebrate, but I think it's sort of comically absurd that Mom actually bakes and sends me a cake through the regular mail. But Dad not catching my mock anger, was concerned that I was going to be sad at not having any cake this year. So Mom got onto Craigslist and found a lady here in town who makes cakes from scratch, and had that lady make me one. When I came home from work Friday night I found the security gate where I live had this giant cake sitting for me. The thing about it was that the lady didn't wrap it. She just sat the cake on a big dish and gave it to the security officer. The cake was impressively large, it was double layer about 4 or 5 inches tall and 9 inches in diameter. It wasn't so tasty as Mom's cakes, which are fantastic although I may be a bit biased, but it was still very good. I've got a picture of it below.

In the end my birthday did turn out to be very good. I got to see a bunch of friends and ate very well all day long. There were a few problems, in particular I did not get one of the presents I wanted, but I want to save that for an upcoming post. Speaking of which, I have a number of posts I want to write up, but I keep having to set them aside for other more pressing matters. Hopefully this upcoming month will have a better showing than this past one.

Loss of the Majestic Mountains Versus Death

Recently the United States Preventative Services Task Force made some new recommendations regarding the screening for breast cancer. The new recommendations say that woman 50 and older should receive a mammogram every 2 years, which is a change from the old recommendation of every year for woman 40 and older. In addition they now recommendation that self-examination should no longer be educated. The reasoning is that "there is moderate or high certainty that the service has no net benefit or that the harms outweigh the benefits. "

I am no doctor, so my thoughts have little weight, but these new recommendations sound awful. From what I can gather, these recommendations are based on the idea that the associated risk of these procedures outweighs the potential benefits. But the only risk I know of that comes with a mammogram or self-examination is a false positive. There's no real detrimental health side-effect going on. You just find out that you actually don't have a deathly disease. So maybe there's a few weeks of anxiety, at worst the woman just decides to lop them off.

Since I first saw the posting, there's been an update which says that woman between 40 and 49 may warrant mammogram studies based upon family history and some other factors. Essentially it's a case-by-case basis.

But I'm not convinced even the old recommendations were good enough. My Mom got breast cancer in her early thirties with no family history. In fact, when she got it she was the first on either side of the family to have cancer and some members of the family put the blame on her. Anyway the first time Mom got it, it was diagnosed by a physical examination during a routine checkup. She then had some x-rays taken but they didn't show anything (remember this was early 90s). Wanting a second opinion she went to a different doctor who said the x-rays are worthless and he performed some sort of needle test on her. That confirmed it. Then a few years later, now we're probably in her early forties, her yearly mammogram found the beginnings of some new tumor growth. At this point she decided to just get rid of them. This was because the first round of treatments was quite awful for her. She blames the chemotherapy on memory loss, and the rest of her treatments on a permanent soreness in her right arm. Even today, almost 20 years later, we aren't supposed to touch Mom's right side. Although she has noticed that recently some of her lost memories will bubble up out of the blue. She can remember more events from her childhood.

So my point is that Mom got breast cancer twice, with no previously known family history or dispositions to it. And it was diagnosed by the very procedures, physical examination and mammograms, that the doctors are recommending against. Before she got cancer she was the definition of health. Probably the worst thing she consumed was coffee with 'Sweet and Low' (saccharin was the sweetener back then). If these doctors who made these new recommendations had been around back then, I could very well have a dead Mom. Alright there's always an exception to the rule, and maybe my Mom was that exception, but if the risk involved is simply a false positive I just simply cannot understand their reasoning that a false positive which at worst leads to surfboard outweighs the benefit of a positive reading which definitely leads to death. To me that sounds like a 15 year old. "Us doctors feel that you'd be better off dying than having to go through life without your breasts."

Potential Donor

Here's a quick story from the retreat. On Saturday night during the reunion, Monsignor made a beeline for me. He said "Hi Greg." Right away I was surprised because I didn't think he knew me other than my face. We had chit-chatted here and there in the past and he's certainly seen me in Confession plenty of times, but I didn't think he knew my name. Anyway, he comes running up saying hello, and then he says "I didn't know you own a Jag." So I explained to him that yes, I've had it now for about 7 months, it's a 2000 and has just over 100,000 miles on it. He said he was driving by and couldn't believe someone at the reunion would have one. So he wrote down the license plate and called up his police buddy to run the plate. And sure enough the officer said it belongs to me. Monsignor said he was hoping the owner was a multi-millionaire, to which I replied it's a work in progress. It was sort of cute, him hoping I'm some potential big donor.

Chatty Cathy

This past weekend was the Koinonia retreat. We had 25 participants and I think it went well. I didn't blunder through my talk which was good, and I was even asked to speak again tomorrow night at Mass. If you'd like to read my talk I've got it posted here. The intro is a bit specific to the retreat but after that it stands by itself. Since the retreat I've been a bit busy with different activities, but I will be trying to update more frequently. Unfortunately I don't have any good stories to tell at the moment. Still if you read all the way through the talk that will give you plenty enough of me for the time-being.

Niceness has its perks

Last night a friend and I drove over to Kankakee to meet up with a lady, I've never met before, in a parking lot at 'Baker's Square' who had 65 sausages for us.

I could explain all that but it's far more interesting sounding to just leave it at that. Anyway while I was there, my friend who I drove up with had to use the restroom and we went on into the restaurant. During the time she was tinkling I talked to the staff, got a Diet Coke (so much better tasting than regular Coke) and looked at all the pies they had on display. Baker's Square is a pie joint and they had all sorts of pies behind a glass counter. When she came out from the restroom we made to leave. But as we were walking out the door the Assistant Manager called us back into the restaurant. He said he wanted to give us something. And he goes into this big refrigerator and pulls out two pies, a chocolate silk and a french apple. He said that they were getting ready to close soon and these pies would just be thrown away tomorrow and he wanted to give them to us since we looked like nice people! I wondered if I had anything to do with that. I had been looking at those pies pretty intently and he might have had some sympathy for me thinking I really wanted one. In reality I was just really curious about the pie types and ingredients being used. I get it from my Mom, the bakery queen. Interestingly while I was looking at all those pies I had been thinking about what happens to them at the end of the day. Now I know. They give them away to nice looking people.

One of Two Certainties

The state of Illinois has apparently not heard of my sensationalism. I am okay with this simply because I want them to be focused on what my taxes pay its workers to do. Nevertheless, had they heard of my greatness and how I never make mistakes they would not have chosen to audit me and send me a $350 bill for mis-representing my income by $9,000 back in 2007.

In 2007 I resided in Colorado and Illinois and I had made income in both states, $9,000 of which was made in Colorado. So I called up the state revenue department and calmly explained to them that I don't make mistakes and that it was their problem. Unfortunately, they didn't believe me and told me that I have to fill out an amended 1040 form and show proof that I paid my Colorado income tax by way of tax return. They said the problem is that the income on my federal tax return does not match the income on my state tax return. Oh well, I can't blame them for double checking, the state needs every penny it can get right now.

Speaking of paying for things, as you may know the health care reform passed in the House on Saturday. Now in general I am completely for a universal health care system. Even for the prats who don't deserve it, because I feel even they as all humans have a fundamental right to have access to health care services. But I'm still a bit disappointed, this time it lies with the media. The press has been calmouring on and on about how this is a great victory for Nancy Pelosi. In today's Chicago Tribune, one of the writers gave her a half page spread about how she had to compromise her desires on the bill in order to get enough votes and how wonderful she was to do so. In particular the article brought up the issue of federally funding abortion. Now, if you've read this blog you know what my thoughts are on this matter, so I won't get into them here. My point is that this article praises Pelosi for meeting with the US Bishops, and even went so far as to call a Cardinal over in Rome just to be sure that the language was fashioned in a way that would receive the Catholic Church's blessing. There's two things about this that bug me. First off, and this is Pelosi's problem here, she has no business consulting with foreigners about US policy. I don't care who she's talking to, we've got plenty enough Cardinals overhere to keep her busy. If she want's to have her own spiritual direction with foreigners, that's one thing, but let's keep American politics in America. The second thing, and the point that really bugs me, lies with the article praising her for reaching across the table like this. The Stupak amendment passed on Saturday, banning abortions to be federally funded excepting in a few cases and covers some other matters, but Pelosi didn't vote for it. This is the amendment that is supposed to address federally funding abortion and she said 'no' on the matter. So in reality she didn't compromise any of her views on the matter at all. The press is putting her on a pedestal when she did nothing at all, and that bothers me. It's not Pelosi's fault, it's the press's for making her out to be something she's not, in this case an angel sent from on high.

100

Here we are at the 100th post. What a momentous occasion for you. Having read every post you be should well grown in cultural taste and class, and find your wit sharper, actions wiser, demeanor more charming, faith deepened, and general awesomeness increased. Indeed, these posts have touched upon all aspects of the human condition, and have brought us tears, laughter, happiness and joy. But after 5 months of so much amazingness, here may be a good time to reflect on the highlights. Now I could let you choose them, but since I'm sensational and you're still growing, I'll save you the effort and choose them for you.

1.) Contacts and Crushes: In this post we have a testimonial regarding the physiological nature of man. Aristotle's emphasis on the relation between structure and function is proven relevant. In this case the physical structure of man is shown to have an effect on his function.

2.) Unkempt Underarms: Continuing on with the physiological nature of man, this post explores the effect of structure on the functions of other structures.

3.) Flap in Front or Back: This post stresses the need for finding humor in life's most dire situations. Life can be scary but with the proper perspective amusement can still be found and spirits lifted.

4.) Unofficial: A controversial posting, this time function is shown to effect structure in unpredicted ways.

5.) Me 25 Years From Now: In today's society rarely does the topic of our mortality come up. Well okay, I guess with the health coverage bill in the works people may be thinking about this more than usual. This post calls us to reflect on this theme, and the ever ticking clock.

6.) Annoying Even at Night: Certainly the most commented post, here we find a debate pertaining to the differences between admonishment and judgement, and the ways in which both empathy and sympathy direct our actions and whether or not those emotional responses to others are always appropriate.

7.) Billy Preston > Billy Ray Cyrus: A well received lesson in the importance of having a diverse musical background.

8.) Dessert Drink That Isn't A Shake: An eye-opening experience into the finer side of dessert dining. But even still, I think I'll always prefer ice-cream over pastries.

9.) Squirrel Nests: Another well received post, and the meeting of my parents which is always a highlight. After all these are the people responsible for me being me.

10.) Pepperoni Face: This last highlight is not necessarily my favorite. Certainly the memories are not fond ones. Here no real lesson is being taught, aside from the benefits of copious amounts of sun-screen, but it was still well received.

And there you go. Thanks for reading, I hope the next 100 will be just as much fun.

Questionable Paintings

Last week I was given two months of work full time. That news was very fortunate, however I will not be going on vacation anywhere now. And while I am quite happy to have work, I was also looking forward to the trips I was thinking about, so now I need to buy some happiness. This time I've been relooking at art.

Back in middle school one of the artists I liked was James Christensen. At that point in time he had just released his first book called Voyage of the Basset. I remember seeing his art crop up here and there. I used to get a jigsaw puzzle catalog and some of his works were in there, I even ended up getting one. And there was a mall in Cleveland where I remember seeing several of his porcelain figurines in one of the art galleries. And then Fr. Franks had the book itself on his desk, and since all of kids pretty much adored Fr. Franks whatever he was interested in automatically made us interested.

The art itself is varied. Sometimes he goes classical Renaissance and other times he is more fantasy oriented. I tend to like his fantasy oriented work, although in general I do not like the fantasty genre. Yesterday I called up Brittany to ask if she had heard of him before but she hadn't. But also apparently Mom had called her to tell her about this artist. Mom must not have given Brittany a good impression because the conversation went like this. "You need to grow a pair and get man art. Hang up some naked ladies." "The art I have up is fine." "I'm going to get you a bunch of Playboys." "First off we don't talk about Playboys (same reason we don't talk about Bob Evans), and second off I wouldn't know what to do with them." "Fine, I'll get you Maxims, they're classier anyway, and you put them in your bathroom of course." "What's wrong with what I want?" "You aren't going to put up art with a bunch of fairies flying around." "Oh, I never thought of it like that. I don't think of these things." "You need more 'Machette', just think of what he would do and do that." "Well he balances things out." "No stop with the balancing." "I think people just need to warm up to it." "People should not have to warm up to your homosexuality." “You’re right. Good points, I won’t get the art.” But this morning I decided to show her three samples of the artist. She wrote me back and said that she actually liked them and had no problem with them. And that’s what happens when people doubt me. Mom apparently gave her a bad impression based on a vocal description of the art, but doubting my taste is just bad form.

Grooming Not Cleaning

Rare are the days when I call my friends from back home. Generally I call for two reasons, the first is when I am home and want to see whose around, and the second is when I have a question for someone "in the know". Last night I was tinkering with the idea of increasing the RPMs of my car when it's at idle. The idea is that in doing so it will increase the oil pressure slightly. Right now when the car is warm the oil pressure is too low when it's sitting idle, but the moment I so much as touch the gas the pressure goes to safer levels. So I think one quick solution would be to just twitch the RPMs up. But as I know nothing of increasing the RPMs and the effects that could have on the rest of the engine I decided to call one of those "in the know" friends of mine, Peter.

The last time I spoke with Peter was when I bought the car. Like now, I had some questions for him regarding the car. So it's been a few months. Usually during these conversations it's all business because either he or I am too busy to chit-chat. But last night he just wanted to talk and talk. Which was fine, as it has been probably well over a year or two or three (time flies so I never know how long these things are) since I had any sort of real conversation with him. Currently he is the lead and only mechanic for a scooter store. It's just him and the owner. The business is selling scooters and repairing any sort of motorized bike. For awhile, with the high gas prices, the business was booming but now that things are back to normal business has slowed by 10 fold. Now that I think about it, with the economy in the state it is maybe the scooter business should be doing fairly well, but anyway apparently it's not. So he's doing that, and he is hoping that the business will get over this hump and soon he will be sitting hot as a sort of partner with the owner.

He also wanted to talk about my feelings about President Obama thus far. I didn't comment much, but said that I did think he should not have been awarded Noble Peace prize. Peter tried to argue that his being elected President was a huge moment for both the United States and the world. And I completely agree, however it is not right to give someone the Noble prize simply because they got elected. Peter conceded that point and then argued that Obama has so much potential and desire to bring about wonderful changes. To this I argued that I should have a Ph.D issued to me because I have the potential and desire to get one. He dropped the issue, and then decided to talk about stem cell research which turned our discussion to necrophilia. I do not know why I get myself into these conversations but it was nice talking with him because there was an air of mutual respect for the two views being presented. Oftentimes with these issues emotions start to stir.

Finally, the last thing I'm telling you of our conversation but the first thing he told me, is that he has proposed to his girlfriend of several years now and she said yes. His wedding is planned for September 4th, and he wants me to be one of the men of honor. I don't get to go to weddings often, and have never been in the honorable party listings before so I'm unsure if I'm getting the term right, but I'm supposed to be standing up there with him when he says his vows.

Anyway, congratulations go to Peter for his happy news.