Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Pack Your Bags

My parents flew off to California this morning and got the Highlander (see Al Johnson Lives On). At 5:00 this morning Dad sent me a text from Indianapolis telling me to expect him and Mom at the fireworks at 8:04 on Saturday. He's actually pretty good about these predictions. A few years back he made a prediction to the minute as to when we would arrive at Kiawah Island, South Carolina at the start of our trip back in Podunk, Ohio. So maybe he'll be able to pull this off, but it's ambitious. He's got essentially three days to get from San Francisco to me here in Illinois. Right now they are approaching Sacramento in bumper-to-bumper traffic going about 20 mph, and according to Mom they still have another 7 to 8 hours to go to meet their goal for the day. As of now they've been up since 3:00 AM Eastern time. It's currently 6:00 Central (7 Eastern). I think by the time they get in tonight they'll have been up longer today than I have been in total the past two days. But they like the car. Mom says the owner has these sheepskin covers in it that cost him $500. He said he could take them out if they didn't like them (I guess he threw them in as a gift on the price), but according to Mom it feels like she is "sitting on a teddy bear."

The other day I was talking to Gurney about adventures and how I want to have one. And we came up with the perfect plan. Times are tight, I could get laid off. It's unlikely but Gurney says not having a backup plan is bad. I tried to explain that I do have a backup plan, which is to buy a failing pet store for dirt cheap and make it into a profitable operation. I can buy the store and its rights for less than $15,000 and probably would need another $100,000 for inventory. Best of all I actually know how to sell pets. It's not that difficult. You take something adorable, and put it in the hands of a 1 year old and have them waddle on over to their parents. Oh sure the child's parents will scream at you, but unfortunately for them they can't help falling to the cuteness of the situation and you've got yourself a sale. Then you simply remind them that they'll need to get some food, a toy or two, a collar, a leash, and shampoo. 100 of those and I'm in the clear. But Gurney doesn't like that idea and says I'm pathetic. Which is true.

After much yelling back and forth we came to an amazing discovery. Companies pay for your plane ticket and hotel room when they interview you. That is the most incredible thing ever. If you want to stay in Redondo Beach, California just call up Northrop Grumman. Or maybe you want to hit the slopes in Denver, Colorado during ski season. Lockheed Martin is who you want to call. If you need transportation have them rent you a car. It's a free ride to stay in the best parts of the country. Genius.

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm glad I finally made it by name officially in the post. I'm also glad you conceded the point about needing a back up plan. I'm always right it just a matter of getting you to listen :)

- gurney