Homebound

Driving home today was an adventure. First I saw a new sign I never noticed before. It said 'No firewood or ash tree material beyond this point. Fine $4,000'. But it just seemed like some arbitrary point on the highway. It's not like I entered into a new township or state. Anyway, I thought it was odd. I also recently got one of those GPS navigators and noticed it wanted me to go a different way than I usually take. So I did. And it took me through a small town called Wilmington. I liked Wilmington. People keep saying I want to live in some big town, but in actuality I prefer the smaller ones, where everyone knows everyone. Of course I'd like to be within an hours distance of a larger one so I can buy my happiness, but ultimately I prefer the smaller ones. In fact I'd move right now, but it wouldn't be practical. This is because I'd want a wife or at least a very steady girl friend first living in that small town. I'm not going to move into a small town otherwise because there just isn't many opportunties for meeting others. The few around are already taken. But I would move in a heart beat if I could. I'm not a terribly huge fan of where I'm currently at, I just like the job. I thought for a while that I was going to get to do this, move, keep the job, and have the girlfriend/wife. I'm still trying to figure out where that all went wrong.

Which brings us to tonight's topic which is the 4th Sorrowful Mystery, the Carrying of the Cross (see Pointy Cap). I find this one is actually pretty difficult when compared to the Cruxification. Carrying our Crosses is much harder than the Cruxifition itself. It's easy to die for a cause. We may not want to die, but it's easy to do. People do it all the time. Just look at the situation in the Middle East. All of those people are dying for a cause they believe in. What's difficult is carrying that cross day in and out. That alone can make people want to die, just to give up the burden.

But I like carrying the cross. Very few of us may know what we are supposed to be doing. It's not like many of us can say with clear assurdity that they know God's will for themselves. I for one have very little clue. I thought I knew, and I thought I was doing it, but in the blink of an eye everything changed and I was left jaw-dropped thinking 'guess not.'

But knowing what we are supposed to do is only a part of it. The other part is knowing what we are not supposed to do. I know very well what I'm not supposed to do, and yet some of those things I very much want to do (I'm single and in my 20s, take a wild guess). So in that way there is a cross to be carried. And this is the part I like. In not doing those things I shouldn't but want to do, I am doing God's will in a fashion. And in doing that, by not doing those things, even though I may be completely clueless about everything else, I can still make Jesus smile. And I like the thought of that very much.

I think I'm going to cut this one a bit short tonight. Now that I'm home, I'm supposed to go meet up with Amzlo in 15 minutes.

Oh come to think of it, I wanted to say something more about Wilmington. When I got home, I told Mom about how I went through the town and how nice it was. There were nice parks, and homes, and while the shopping was pititful it still had all the essentials. Then she said that the whole town is going under. Apparently they are largely employeed by a trucking manufacturer. That manufacturer is closing down and all those jobs are going to be lost. So sad.

Speaking of my Mom, I got my brownie points and cut the grass tonight unprompted. As I was getting ready I asked my Mom where she fell. She actually hit the electrical box way in the back of the back yard, and not the closer one that I was thinking of. She had ridden awkwardly into a gully which caused her to lose her balance. When I commented on that was a very long way to push back the lawnmower she said "I just picked myself up and got back on." "Wait, I thought you hit hard and couldn't continue." "Oh, I hit hard, but I finished. I finish what I start." That's right. My Mom is more hard core than you.