Monday, May 24, 2010

Going Out With A Bang

The wedding I went to this weekend was amazing. When I entered the Chapel the choir was singing. I thought if I looked up at them I would see wings coming out of their backs because humans shouldn’t sound so good. The rest of the congregation that had arrived before me was all twisted around in the pews intently watching the choir. I do not know if I have ever heard or will ever hear again anything that could match that choir.

The bride was radiant. I’ve known her for about a year and half now and never would I have thought she could have looked so stunning.

The Mass was celebrated by an 80-some year old Monsignor. He is the type of guy who seems too stubborn to get sick or frail. At 80-something he is more agile than a cat and as strong as an ox. But also being of “that generation” he has that militaristic-style about him that makes him look like no nonsense made flesh. But he couldn’t have been warmer or more humorous. All throughout Mass he was cracking jokes, and at one point I was wondering if it was his jokes that were funny or just that the fact that they were so unexpected coming from a guy like him that drew the big laughs that came with them. His homily was so beautiful that by the end I had tears running down my face. My friends of course laughed at me but one of my former professors admitted that he too had been crying during that homily.

After Mass my part in the wedding started. I was to drive Will and Jen to the reception. The reception started at 4 and Mass ended at 3:30. But after Mass they had to do all the pictures. Around 4:05 they came running out of the Chapel. At this point I thought they were going to stay around outside for more pictures, but Will gave me this look that said “Get us out of here now.” So I stowed my camera and open the doors for them. I had pulled my car around to the front of the Chapel while they were taking pictures so that we could easily and fashionably pull away.

When they got into the car they both started screaming at me, “GO GO GO! We are so late for the reception, the pictures took too long. Get us out of here! GO! GO!! GO!!!” BANG!!!!

Being overwhelmed by all the shouts and people trying to get at Will and Jen for more pictures I lost focus and smashed my car into the car behind me. In front of all their family and most of our friends. I did not know what to do and completely froze. Will and Jen changed their shouts to “Just Go, Just Go! That’s what bumpers are for! Just Go!” Still frozen the only thought I had was that these people must be looking for some sort of visual response from me showing sorrow and acknowledgement so I just hung my head. Then I decided to get out despite Will and Jen’s protests. Everyone outside screamed “That’s what bumpers are for”, so I got back in and we headed out.

I thoroughly embarrass myself at least once a week, but this took the cake. During the reception I heard all sorts of reactions and witness re-accounts of what took place. It actually reminded me of the Gospels where you have 4 versions of the same scene, and each 4 are just a little different but the key facts remain the same. Everyone saw something a little different but one fact was clear, I backed my car, carrying the newly wedded couple, into the huge blindingly white vehicle behind me, with everyone taking enough pictures to generate a flip-book movie of the whole event.

1 comments:

mrzMurphy said...

nice - if i makes you feel better, I only heard about the haikus, and not this awesome story