Saturday, September 25, 2010

Three Old Stories

Grandpa drove me to his house where Grandma had breakfast started for us. They started with a plate of fruit. This plate of fruit was a meal in itself. As I’ve mentioned I hate sushi. The only thing I hate more is people who ask me if I’ve had good sushi. Well apparently they might be on to something because I also hated pineapple. I say ‘hated’ because the pineapple Grandma had was divine. “Grandma, I hate pineapple but this is incredible.” “That’s because I bought this fresh, and cleaned it myself. I don’t trust those cleaning machines the workers use. I don’t think they clean them very well and I don’t think they wash their hands.”

After my plate of fruit, Grandpa then made me a ham, cheese, and egg sandwich. Then Grandma gave me an oatmeal cookie. Grandparents are the best. Then we got down to business. Grandpa had just bought a 2010 Land Rover and had a 2003 Honda Pilot, with only 53,000 miles on it, sitting around. And the reason I had gone to visit them was to pick it up, because they were giving it to me for free!

We talked a little more, Grandpa took me for a test drive, and then I got on the road with two more of those wonderful oatmeal cookies to go visit my other Grandfather. He was not expecting me to visit, so when I showed up and said “Hi, Grandpa” he just lit up like a light bulb. And he just talked and talked, in between bites of one of those oatmeal cookies. Mom said he doesn’t talk much, so he must have been really excited to see me. He wanted to talk about how the thing he misses the most is driving. When he was younger he liked to drive fast. He told me two stories.

Shortly after he married Grandma they took a trip down to Florida. Grandpa had gotten a new car whose speedometer was rated for 120 mph. He wanted to see if it could hit that. In Georgia he made his run, and got it up to 118 before it maxed out. At this point he saw off in the distant the whirling overhead lights in his rear view mirror. He pulled over and the officer arrested them both on the spot. They were charged with a large fine, over $100. Grandpa pulled out his bond card (no idea what that is), and said “I have a bond card”, but they weren’t interested in that. Then he said he doesn’t carry that type of cash on him, so they let him go with the promise he would send them a check when he made it back to Cleveland. And he did. Two days later there was an article in the ‘Plain Dealer’ that the police in Georgia were specifically targeting out of state speeders and charging them ridiculous fines.

Then he told me another story. Again he was in Georgia and going through a school zone. But he had learned his lesson and was driving the marked speed of 15 mph. And he noticed an officer on the left and was happy he was going the speed limit. But a short while later the officer pulled him over. Grandpa asked the officer what was wrong and he said Grandpa was speeding. Grandpa said he was not speeding, that he was going the 15 mph and asked what the officer clocked him at. The officer said he didn’t need to clock him to tell he was speeding. Then he went to the back of Grandpa and Grandma’s car, put his foot on the bumper and started writing out the ticket. Grandpa got out of the car went over to the officer and pushed his leg off the car. The officer almost fell over and Grandpa said, “Keep your foot off my car that’s private.” The officer said, “So you’re one of those damn smart a$$ Yankees.” Grandpa replied, “I don’t know about being smart, but that’s private property and you are to keep off it.” So the officer said they were going to have to go to court. When Grandpa said they were from Ohio and would have to travel back, the officer said they would do it right now and they drove off to the Courthouse. But the judge wasn’t in, so the officer said that he would just have to write them a ticket, rather than keep them in jail, and asked for Grandpa’s license. Grandpa again tried his bond card, but the officer again wasn’t interested so then Grandpa gave his driver’s license him, and the officer after looking at it said, “What this HD mean on your license?” “That means I was honorably discharged from the army.” “You were in the army?” “Yes, this damn Yankee was overseas risking his life so you could keep enjoying yours.” The officer said he would not write a ticket and instead leave them with a warning. Grandpa said he didn’t need a warning, he wasn’t speeding. But the officer wouldn’t hear it and gave them the warning anyway.

Then another time he was driving on a two lane road with Grandma when two racers were taking up both lanes of the road were driving for them. Grandpa was forced to drive off the road, which caused his car to spin out of control. Well he wasn’t about to have any of that, and turn around to chase them. He said he was going to pull them out of their cars, but Grandma grabbed him by the arm and said to let it go. So he did. His response after these three stories was, “Yeah, I was really ornery.”

At this point, I had to leave if I was to get on the road and proceed on the 7.5 hour drive I had to make. So I said my goodbye and got on the road. The rest of the weekend is coming in the upcoming posts.

1 comments:

amanda said...

I love some of the stories my grandma used to tell me when i was little. My grandpa has a few whoppers too!