Today I feel like sharing with all of you bleeding hearts my so called theological response to the following comment: "Don't worry, there are other fish in the sea."
No there aren't. And what follows is why.
God loves everyone, even the people who don't believe in Him. We were taught this as children. If you have forgotten, then try to remember those timeless lyrics, "Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so." In particular, that Bible passage is 1 John 4:16. We also know this by other passages, and can infer it by many others. By loving us, God must desire what is best for us. This is because you cannot love someone and desire that something bad will happen to him or her. And by being God, He automatically knows what is best for us. Whatever this is happens to be is His plan for us. So God has a plan for everyone on the planet.
This plan is a perfect plan, because God cannot be with fault. By being a perfect plan it can only have one path of execution. This is because if something is perfect, it by definition cannot be made more perfect. You cannot have what is best and make it better. Something can only be made less perfect. And the way something perfect is made less perfect is by altering it. So by adding or taking away from God’s plan it will necessarily be made less perfect.
So since God’s perfect plan for everyone only has one path, that means for those called to marriage it can only lead to one other person. The path cannot branch off to others, and remain as God’s perfect plan for us.
As far as I am concerned, that's my argument for why there is only one fish in the sea. Essentially God's perfect plan for us can only lead to one other person.
But we aren't perfect. As much as I hate to admit it that includes me. Everyone messes up occasionally, and thereby falls slightly or significantly off the path. It may be possible to get back on the path, but in some cases it may not be. For example, maybe God's plan for me is to get an A Calculus. Say I take my first exam and get my typical C- or lower grade. At this point I have clearly fallen off the path a bit, but I have some options. I can work hard, do better, and still earn an A. Or I could give up and fail the course altogether. Or maybe I just keep at it and end up with a B. In all 3 cases, my life isn't over, but in only one of those cases did I manage to get back on the path.
But say I don't get back on. Fortunately we are not doomed to misery and wallow. Otherwise sin and death would prevail, and God has already won that battle. So even though we may fall hopelessly off the perfect path, that does not mean that great good cannot still come from it. For the guy who completely missed the boat with the girl God had meant for him, that doesn’t mean he can’t marry another and still live a happy full life. True, it cannot be as perfect or fulfilling as God had originally intended, but it can still be rather amazing. Of course it could be exceptionally awful too.
For a moment pretend all guys on the planet managed to live as amazing a life as I do. Well it takes two to tango and that still leaves the girls. Even if the guy manages to live a perfect life, that doesn't mean the girl will. So by no fault of his own, the guy may not end up with his special lady. But as I mentioned, that doesn't mean that someone else can't work some magic in his life.
Unfortunately, there is no way to ever tell for certain if someone is 'the one'. But there are signs. First off we have to remember that because God loves us, and wants what is best for us, that means we are to have inner joy. Note that inner joy, and the emotion of happiness are not necessarily the same thing. The writers of the New Testament letters explain this apparent contradiction much better than I can here. But getting back on track, that inner joy will bring peace to our hearts. Because of this, whoever we are meant to be with will bring us a sense of that peace. Setting aside our emotions, we need to internally reflect on the prospect, pray, and act.
There is a bit of trust involved, but we know that God will not give us a snake if we ask for an egg. In other words, God isn't going to hook us up with someone we simply have no desire for. But we need to trust that whoever that is, he or she may not be what we were expecting.
In short, for those of us called to marriage we were only ever meant for one other person. True, many other people may work out fine, but only one was meant to be for us.
Okay, so maybe there are other fish in the sea. I just don't like the implication that those fish are in some ways as good if not better than the one we were meant to catch.
No there aren't. And what follows is why.
God loves everyone, even the people who don't believe in Him. We were taught this as children. If you have forgotten, then try to remember those timeless lyrics, "Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so." In particular, that Bible passage is 1 John 4:16. We also know this by other passages, and can infer it by many others. By loving us, God must desire what is best for us. This is because you cannot love someone and desire that something bad will happen to him or her. And by being God, He automatically knows what is best for us. Whatever this is happens to be is His plan for us. So God has a plan for everyone on the planet.
This plan is a perfect plan, because God cannot be with fault. By being a perfect plan it can only have one path of execution. This is because if something is perfect, it by definition cannot be made more perfect. You cannot have what is best and make it better. Something can only be made less perfect. And the way something perfect is made less perfect is by altering it. So by adding or taking away from God’s plan it will necessarily be made less perfect.
So since God’s perfect plan for everyone only has one path, that means for those called to marriage it can only lead to one other person. The path cannot branch off to others, and remain as God’s perfect plan for us.
As far as I am concerned, that's my argument for why there is only one fish in the sea. Essentially God's perfect plan for us can only lead to one other person.
But we aren't perfect. As much as I hate to admit it that includes me. Everyone messes up occasionally, and thereby falls slightly or significantly off the path. It may be possible to get back on the path, but in some cases it may not be. For example, maybe God's plan for me is to get an A Calculus. Say I take my first exam and get my typical C- or lower grade. At this point I have clearly fallen off the path a bit, but I have some options. I can work hard, do better, and still earn an A. Or I could give up and fail the course altogether. Or maybe I just keep at it and end up with a B. In all 3 cases, my life isn't over, but in only one of those cases did I manage to get back on the path.
But say I don't get back on. Fortunately we are not doomed to misery and wallow. Otherwise sin and death would prevail, and God has already won that battle. So even though we may fall hopelessly off the perfect path, that does not mean that great good cannot still come from it. For the guy who completely missed the boat with the girl God had meant for him, that doesn’t mean he can’t marry another and still live a happy full life. True, it cannot be as perfect or fulfilling as God had originally intended, but it can still be rather amazing. Of course it could be exceptionally awful too.
For a moment pretend all guys on the planet managed to live as amazing a life as I do. Well it takes two to tango and that still leaves the girls. Even if the guy manages to live a perfect life, that doesn't mean the girl will. So by no fault of his own, the guy may not end up with his special lady. But as I mentioned, that doesn't mean that someone else can't work some magic in his life.
Unfortunately, there is no way to ever tell for certain if someone is 'the one'. But there are signs. First off we have to remember that because God loves us, and wants what is best for us, that means we are to have inner joy. Note that inner joy, and the emotion of happiness are not necessarily the same thing. The writers of the New Testament letters explain this apparent contradiction much better than I can here. But getting back on track, that inner joy will bring peace to our hearts. Because of this, whoever we are meant to be with will bring us a sense of that peace. Setting aside our emotions, we need to internally reflect on the prospect, pray, and act.
There is a bit of trust involved, but we know that God will not give us a snake if we ask for an egg. In other words, God isn't going to hook us up with someone we simply have no desire for. But we need to trust that whoever that is, he or she may not be what we were expecting.
In short, for those of us called to marriage we were only ever meant for one other person. True, many other people may work out fine, but only one was meant to be for us.
Okay, so maybe there are other fish in the sea. I just don't like the implication that those fish are in some ways as good if not better than the one we were meant to catch.
1 comments:
I could not disagree more.
WAM
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