Thursday, July 29, 2010

The Importance of Dictionaries

Spell checker and grammar checker unfortunately do not check reality. For example, I know of no word processor that would find fault with the following statement, "I took a girl on a date." That sentence should be covered in red, but it has no spelling errors or blatant grammatical short comings (well it probably does have grammatical errors but we get the point).

A while back I wrote an entire report for work spelling closest as closet. I even remember thinking what a strange coincidence it was that they should be spelled the same. I figured it was sort of like the word read which is both the present and past tense. My boss who reviewed the report was not so confused.

Just this week I made another small blunder. I was in the break room pulling out my 2-liter of Mountain Dew from the back of the refrigerator. I use 2-liters because I'm told the aluminum in cans can lead to Alzheimer's disease, I usually don't drink a full cans worth during the work day, and it can lead to significant savings over the course of the year. If I have a 50 cent can everyday, or a $1.60 (stupid price increase) over the course of a week I just saved about a dollar, which every year equates to about $52.

The problem was that my bottle was in the back and all the lunches were up front. So I had to pull out one of the lunch bags to make room. But in the process of doing that, apparently one of its straps or something on it grabbed a hold of an adjacent lunch that was in a great big glass bowl and the whole thing came crashing down and made a shattered mess. I cleaned it all up and sent out an e-mail, to everyone who works where I do, saying I owed someone lunch and a bowl.

The e-mail caused a stir because I did not realize that bowl is not spelled bowel.

Turns out the lunch belonged to an out of town visitor who never even got my e-mail. So I offered to replace someone's bowels, and ruined the lunch of a visitor who has such special dietary restrictions that the best we could do was order him a unwich from Jimmy John's that consisted of lettuce and turkey, no bread, no other vegetables, no salt, no pepper.

In other news, as I was typing this a co-worker told me out the blue, "That's what you need, you don't need a car you need a dog."

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

Such a funny post - I've shared it with many people!

WAM