Finally someone responded to a message on these dating sites. In this case it took about 10 messages to get 1 reply. And this was a great win because on this secular site, I don't think I've ever read a better profile. Not a single red flag anywhere, and she is extremely attractive. So I got a response, very quickly, and wrote back. As I waited for a second reply I went to the other site where she said she had a profile to see if I would still have written her based on this other profile. And I what I found was very interesting.
She is a devout Catholic, who goes to daily Masses, and her statements about what she is looking for in a guy couldn't be more in accord with the Church's teaching of the purpose of relationships in general. So all good there. She wants children but doesn't have any yet, has never been married, is exceptionally attractive, has a good job, works out every other day, likes dogs, lives nearby, and is very well educated. She doesn't drink or smoke, and does not "party".
However, on this other dating site, a Catholic one, I noticed her relationship status was a little different than the one on the secular site. On the secular site, she wrote, and truthfully so, 'never married'. On the Catholic site, she wrote 'annulled'. At first, still a little overwhelmed by the positives of everything else, this didn't bother me in the least. I actually wrote her a second time to say that I went to this other site to see if I still would have written and said I would have. I made no mention of any of the particulars I found there. As for the annulment I figured, whatever happened in her past, in the eyes of God as I believe in my Catholic faith, she was never married. She may have experienced a ceremony, and lived with her man for a time, but sacramentally she was never married. As the day went on I wanted to see if I could find anything else out about her. Like maybe she had a facebook page that wasn't secured, or maybe a blog. I don't think of this as creepy, I think of this as middle school crush. Anyway, I found two articles about her. One was her engagement announcement and the other was her wedding announcement. These two things bothered me a great deal.
Sure, sacramentally speaking, in the eyes of God the marriage never happened. But to everyone involved she experienced all the things that lead up to it. The falling in love, the engagement, the announcement, the ceremony, and then the reception. And I realized those are things I would really like both myself and my future wife (here's hoping), to experience for the first time together. Okay, I know it is crazy to think about marriage when I haven't even met this girl, but it got me thinking, and I wasn't sure what to make of it. Deep down I felt this was all stupid. I was discrediting all those amazing things about her because of this one thing. Like a potential life time of good times, was not going to happen because I wouldn't let this temporally small thing in the grand scheme of things go. But still I was stuck.
Knowing it is usually best not to let myself dwell too much on any topic, I thought I should just take it up to prayer and said a Hail Mary. Immediately, I came to a solution. I thought about Mary. Here was a young woman who was going to marry a man who already was married, and probably at that point a widower with children of his own. And from what I can tell it didn't bother her in the least. And after reflecting on that, I decided that I too should not let this be a deal breaker, and was able to move on and continue to hope that she would indeed reply to my responses to her.
Of course, she never did respond and I got myself worked up all for nothing.
0 comments:
Post a Comment