California Here I Come

Today's post goes best with the following. So just open it up in a new tab, and listen to it loudly, while reading on.

San Diego in February is a bit like a paradise. There are sunny skies, palm trees, green grass, and a cold day is considered something less than 60. Every where you look is a picture. And this is how I get to spend one whole week, as I teach a class on behalf of work for another company that's got a location out here. Arriving at little after 11:00 here time, I had quite a lot of time to spend exploring around. And I did, I hopped in to the rental, a bright red Sentra, and drove around. It didn't take long before I saw my first Ferrari driving right next to me. It sort of caught me off guard because I was absent mindedly looking around at the fantastic landscapes when all of a sudden I see I'm driving right next to a $250,000 car. It was pretty amusing because I don't think the guy driving it knew exactly what he was doing. He seemed to be all over the place. I couldn't tell if he was really having a hard time with it, or was just trying to figure out the best way to zip in between cars to get to a clearing where he could properly drive the way the car is meant to be handled. At any rate, I was on a mission to find my location, so I had to put that car out of my mind and pay attention. First off I tried to go to Seaport Village, but my GPS didn't take me where I thought I wanted to go, but I was happy with the general location so I kept driving around and eventually came to the Gaslamp District which was another place I wanted to check out. And since I was now already here, I figured I should get out and take a look around.

The Gaslamp District is essentially blocks and blocks of shopping and dining for the incredibly gorgeous. Once I parked, I walked towards what I felt was the beginning, and on that first block I passed a restaurant with people eating outside and I noticed a line. This struck me as odd being only 1 in the afternoon. Then I saw that many of these people were looking at yet another Ferrari parked on the street next to the restaurant. The mothers kept telling their little children not to touch it. But as I walked on by I noticed another group of people. These people were all fabulously good looking. Girls and guys alike. They were sitting outside eatting and socializing, basically looking like a scene in a catalog and here I go walking on by. In my head I apologized to them saying, "Sorry for spoiling your view." But I quickly perked up as I came to an art gallery. I decided to check it out for fun, and it turned out I had struck gold. This gallery was a gallery of Chuck Jones, Dr. Suess, and Charles Shultz. Chuck Jones did all the Loony Tunes cartoons, think Bug Bunny, and Charles Shultz did Charlie Brown. Some of the work was original. Like there was an original Dr. Suess of the Grinch. And for $14,695 it could be yours. There was an original Chuck Jones, at the low price of $20,000. They even had an original cell from Disney's 'Alice in Wonderland'. No price listed. But there were plenty of art that was affordable. I really considered buying a piece of either Bug Bunny playing the Piano or one by Dr. Seuss of a zany orchestra, to hang above my piano, but a.) I don't have wall space available to hang the picture above a piano, and b.) I don't have a piano. But it was fun to look at all those wonderful old memories hanging there on the walls.

After this I continued walking the blocks. I wound up seeing a Bently drive on by, and after a couple hours found myself going back to that art store for one last look.



But I resisted. However, on the way there I passed that restaurant again since it is right across the street. And now there was a huge line outside of it. At 3:00 on a Sunday afternoon this place had a line of about 50 people waiting to get in and it was growing. Now I'm not going to say I found these people particularly attractive. I would say they went to lengths to try and be appealing. To me it seemed gaudy. Like with everyone there in line it was just too much. As I walked back to my car, I saw more people getting into that line. One girl must have been from up North, because even though it was 57, she felt perfectly warm in yellow high heels and a bikini.

Then pulling out to leave I saw a Rolls Royce drive on by. Still I was perfectly content in my Sentra mimicing Mariah's screams to 'Fantasy'. Seemed appropriate after seeing a guy, rippling with muscle, in a cowboy hat and plaid short sleeve button down, driving a pick up blaring Taylor Swift and singing along. There are more stories to tell, but for now let us go to a true classic. California Here I Come.

Green Suggestion

The owners of the building I work in had a contest offering a prize to the employee that could come up with the best "green idea" that the building could implement. For example, one co-worker had the idea that recycling bins could be placed wherever regular trash bins are placed. If the offices in the building have recycling like mine does, the nightly custodial staff will take care of it. So adding recycle bins to the rest of the office building wouldn't incur a lot of extra cost.

I too have an idea. When I use the office bathroom toilets, they take about 3 flushes to complete the job. At 1.6 gallons per flush, that means 4.8 gallons of clean water are being used to get things accomplished. If you have a hard time visualizing 4.8 gallons, take 5 gallons of milk and a cup. Pour yourself a swallow into the cup and the rest of the milk into a drain. That's how much I'm using. It's probably more clean water than many have access to in a year. By clean, I mean that if it weren't in the toilet and coming out of the faucet you could drink it.

So the office should get some of the fancy new toilets that sound like a jet engine being fired up when you flush them. They get the job done, use little water, save me time and in some cases physical labor, and are immensely satisfying to witness. I'll take my prize now.

Sleep Induced Misunderstanding

My Mom slipped and fell the other day which made her sore. She is always sore, but now she was actually complaining about it, so for someone like me who will scream in pain if I accidentally scratch an itch too hard, her pain for me would probably be coma inducing. Well during the daytime I called her up to check in and we had a conversation. The next day we spoke again and she started repeating our previous conversation. So I interrupted her and said she already told me all of this yesterday. Then she said that Dad had given her a Tylenol PM that previous day and she couldn't really remember much of our conversation. Dad had given it to her I guess to keep her in bed because knowing her she'd just keep trucking away at all the various activities she does every day. Mom however isn't the sitting type and because it was daytime she was fighting it to stay awake and so she was sort of in a waking dream when I was talking to her.

After we got things figured out as to why she was repeating our last conversation she said she was annoyed that Dad had given her a Tylenol PM because it was keeping her from doing anything productive despite the pain. So I told her the following story.

Monica has a friend who is engaged. A little while back Monica's friend needed to go on about a 3 or 4 hour car trip by herself in the evening. But for reasons I don't know she was sore. I know she works out so let's say for the purposes of this story that she had worked out hard and was sore from it. She asked her fiancee if he had anything she could take to relieve the pain so she could comfortably get through her trip. He gave her a Tylenol. During the drive she got very tired and called him up. She asked what medication he had given her because she was so tired all of a sudden, and he said he gave her Tylenol PM. When she screamed at him for doing this he was confused. Apparently he didn't know Tylenol PM is supposed to help you sleep. He thought it was supposed to help you get through the night, like regular Tylenol gets you through the day.

A Well Named Joint

Today is 'Anatomy Tuesday'. Anatomy is an interesting subject area, because the human body is fascinating. Think about all the really cool things it can do and the management of all the systems that is performed without you even needing to think of it. I know I'd be long dead if my body didn't keep breathing without me paying attention to it. Although breathing is sort of interesting. I can exert some control on whether or not I breathe, but other times my body takes over like when I'm asleep. So I can essentially override the controls when I want. But I can't override my heart beats. Maybe some people can, but I don't even know what muscles to flex. I suppose my heart is a muscle, but I don't know how to work it. I mean it's easy to get it going. Just thinking about asking out a random girl will make it go a mile a minute. But purposely slowing it down is something I haven't mastered yet. This is all lovely talk but it's not the subject of today's topic. Rather today's topic has to do with the elbow.

The elbow is an interesting body part. Typically I do not pay much attention to it. One reason is that I have difficulties seeing my own, and I find they aren't too attractive on others. The skin is all weird looking, and sometimes you'll find it blackened. I'm guessing this is due to poor hygiene, but maybe it's like a dog's foot which has that black hard skin that is all calloused up. I suppose it could be possible. Like maybe people with black elbows do a lot of deep thinking at their desk. I do a lot of deep sleeping at my desk with my head supported, but I also tend to be cold at my desk and therefore am wearing long sleeves.

Also the skin has no nerves. So you can play with it all you like and not hurt yourself. Sometimes I like to twist it around. Maybe this is a nervous tic, but it's fun seeing if I can do a complete revolution.

Another name for the elbow is the funny bone. Now the exact reason for this name is unknown, but there are a few good guesses. One is that because it is exposed, meaning it's not covered by muscle or bone, it can be hit easily and cause a sensation which for some reason is rather peculiar compared to messing with your other nerves. Another guess is because it is located around the Humerus, the upper arm bone, which is just like humorous. However, I think another good reason is because of the name of the elbow skin which is "wenis".

Wenis is probably the greatest name ever for anything. It is super fun to say. Say it out loud and try not to smile. Say, "I have a wenis". Hahaha.

Eyes Wide Open

Last week I had to travel down South to give a talk at a conference. The talk was an hour long overview to set the stage for the rest of the conference. The conference was attended by about 80 people.

The whole affair was a little impressive. The conference room reminded me of something I'd expect to see at the United Nations. I had to sit in the center of the room at this big table that was shaped like a U. I had my own name plate, a microphone, and this really comfy big leather chair that swiveled and rocked around. For everyone not giving a talk they were given seats in the bleachers around the big U. But instead of bleachers they were really sitting in their own leather chairs, with little arm tables placed nearby. Presenters were able to stand in the mouth of the U or up at the podium.

My talk went pretty well I thought. I was able to make them laugh a little, wasn't shaking with nerves, and saw only 3 or 4 people doze off on me. But I also had the best slot, which was right after the first morning break and just before lunch. The other presentations were also well done, although they captivated me to various degrees. For example one of the speakers had the voice of a nightingale and put me right to sleep. This was rather embarrassing. Here I am, the youngest by far of anyone at the U, with the least amount of education, that no one in the conference has ever heard of before, and I'm sound asleep. During one particularly dry talk my co-worker who was sitting next to me said I had fallen asleep with my eyes open. I asked how he could be sure I was asleep. He said it was because I was slouched over, looking down, and my eyes were beet red and teared up from not blinking.