Sarge's Day

Yesterday was memorial day.  And today we remember Sarge's Day.  Everyone say happy birthday Sarge!

A few weekends ago I went to Kansas to visit my favorite people, a few old friends from my undergraduate days, the Italian nuns.  Only one knew I was actually coming.  The way it worked is that they were hosting a weekend long celebration (when they party they tend to go all out), and I thought then would be as good a time as any to visit.  Since graduation, I've only seen two of them, and haven't really spoken to any of them.  Which I realize is rather lame considering that I just said these are my favorite people, but it was still a big deal for me to go see them.  Like I have dreams about seeing them.  In my undergraduate years, I was friends with the lot of them, but I also met one-on-one for spiritual direction with their mother superior.

So I showed up in Kansas, about an hour late, and merged into the large group of people unbeknownst to them.  Eventually I went up to Sr. Susan (the only non-Italian at the time), my old director, and said hi and gave her a big hug.  Having her hands full and rushing off to the next stage of the party, she didn't know who I was at first, and just said hi, thanks for the hug.  But then she recognized me and basically erupted with joy.  She then pulled me into a room full of strangers and said, "everyone this is my friend I haven't seen in 8 years."  Then she looked at me and simply said "share".  So I had to talk in front of a room of strangers what I had been up to the past 8 years.  It was a bit embarrassing, and I rambled a lot, but Sr. Susan had a hard time putting sentences together at first, so I think all in all it went okay  A little later I went and said hi to Sr. Clara, who I taught English to when she came to America many years ago.  She is a little more animated than Sr. Susan, and she too didn't recognize me at first.  But when she did, if Sr. Susan erupted, she exploded.

On Saturday, they invited me over to dinner at their place with the other nuns and the girls who are thinking about joining.  I can't get anyone to respond to me on the dating sites, but I can get dinner with 9 unavailable girls no problem.  Before dinner we had to get their house ready for the final party on Sunday, and I was asked to help with some yard work.  I started whistling that tune to Lilies of the Field, and they started singing.  But only Sr. Susan, the American, got the joke.  The others knew the song, but hadn't seen the movie.  Sr. Susan was displeased by this, so hopefully she'll lay down the law and force them to watch it.  Anyway, once I finished what I had to do, I noticed they had a lot of wild onions growing in their flower garden, and I set to picking them.  During this time, Sr. Clara walked by.  Think of a young women, maybe late 30s early 40s, whose short with dark hair, and speaks very good but Italian-accented English.

Sr. Clara you've got too many weeds growing in your flower garden.

Really?

Yes, you see these?  These are weeds.  They are called wild onions.

No, these aren't weeds.  They are food.

No, sister you don't want to eat these, these are no good.

No, you see the bottom, that's the onion.

Yes, but you don't eat that.

No?

No, they are weeds, these aren't onions to eat.

Oh, but they have a pretty blue flower.

No, no, they aren't flowers either.  They're weeds.

But the flower is pretty.

Sister dandelions have pretty yellow flowers but they are weeds.

Haha, that is true!  But, mmmm (smelling sound), they smell good.

Sister, they do not smell good!

No, look here at the bottom, they smell.

Yes, they smell, but they are not good smelling.  These are weeds, you're supposed to pick these.

Oh, I see.  Okay, I'll help you pick them.

Okay good.  Now look here, you see how I removed a bunch of them?

Yes?

Well it looks really good now.  It took a little amount of effort and the result looks really good.

Uh-huh.

Well let's learn some more English.  We say, "I got a bang for my buck."

"Bang for your buck."

No, no.  You want to say, "I got a bang for my buck."

Ah, okay.

Do you understand it?

No.

Think of when you wash a dirty or dusty white surface.  It looks so much better when it's clean.

Uh-huh.

And now think of a brown surface that you wash.  It doesn't look any better.

Ahh, yes, I understand.

Later that night.

Sisters this new house of yours is amazing.  I still can't get over it.

Sr. Lory:  I liked our old house.

Everyone else:  Ahhh! (the place could only charitably be called hovelish)

Sr. Lory:  No really, the only part I didn't like was the kitchen floor tile.  No matter how many times I washed it, it never looked clean.

Sr. Clara:  Yes, you didn't get a good bang for your buck.