Thursday, January 13, 2011

Fashion Not Limited to Hair

Today is tasteful Thursday, and today's subject is mullets. Like a bad comb over, we all love them. They are so incredibly ugly that most of us can't help but smile when we see them and wonder what the wearer is thinking. This isn't to say we mock the wearer, so much as we are awed by his, or, in some very sad cases, her, choice in style. Or rather we shouldn't be hair-fashionistas because we too probably have some horrible styles that we love to wear out in public. Like a rather abundant fellow who likes to wear skimpy bathing suits at the pool or beach. In fact we have such an affinity for spotting these fashions that we could make variations on the rules to "Bug I win."

The business in front, party in back, theme of the mullet occurs elsewhere making it seem as though there are anthropological tie-ins to this style. This is supported from the fact that people simply can neither be serious all the time, nor spend all day goofing off. A balance is needed. Indeed the mullet could be interpreted as a modern day yin-yang.

Many years ago I found another occurrence of the mullet. It is seen from line paper ripped out of a spiral bound notebook rather than nicely torn from the perforations. In this case the lines represent all business, but the funny tassels on the left end of the sheet are just a chaotic mess of activity. Like the haircuts however, ripped notebook paper is ugly, and should never occur.

Which brings me to a central point about mullets. While they may represent a deep need for balance, they are incredibly ugly, and unless one is purposely wearing it to bring about a smile, they should never be worn. Ever. And all variations on mullets should never occur. While dressing this morning, it was early and I was in a rush to get the day going. I knew right away that I wanted to wear a sweater with a collared shirt underneath. I also knew the jeans I had thought about wearing I wanted to save until tomorrow, and I was thinking that my slacks did not go with the colors in my sweater without making me look like I belonged in the Caribbean on a cool night. So I chose my other pair of jeans to wear instead. Then this afternoon, while washing my hands before lunch I saw myself in the mirror. And I realized my outfit is a mullet. My jeans have holes, and bold patterns on them, whereas my sweater and shirt look like they belong on a father with an established household. I saw myself in the mirror and instantly that smile which comes natural to all sights of mullets appeared and I found myself thinking what on Earth was I thinking this morning.


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