Beasty Shrub

Taking advantage of my David-esque physique my parents put me to work today. They miss me so much I couldn't help but visit them during this extended weekend we have.

There were two major things they wanted done. First was the lawn, it needed mowing after only three days of growth. When I was little I used to have to cut the grass every other day for them. Not because they were really particular about the grass but because it needed it. So today, after 3 days growth, it was really tall and the mower got clogged up a few times. But that was fine. The only part I didn't like was the blisters. They got this new Honda mower a while back and I've never liked how the self-propelled system on it works. I have to hold down two bars, that sandwich a third. So there's a lot of bar there to hold onto and it forms blisters around my thumbs.

But it was the second task that I dreaded and made me not want to come home. That beast of a bush. Dad said it wouldn't be bad because he got a new electric hedger that had a longer blade on it than our old one. All I noticed was that it was much heavier to wield. The sides of the bush are not that bad, but the top is dreadful because the bush is very thick. You have to really lean into the bush on a ladder to get at it, and then sort of use the electric hedger like a sword with one hand. In the past with the little guy it wasn't so bad because it was light. I could lean in further and simply extend myself. But this new one wanted to take me right with it as I threw it around.

What makes the bush so unbearable is the pollen, which gets everywhere. It gets in your eyes, all over your clothes and skin and in your nose and throat. You can't rub your eyes because your hands are covered with pollen, so you just cry. The pollen will then become a soupy mess which starts coming out the corner of your eyes like the eye wax you wake up to in the morning. The pollen on your skin burns when it mixes with your sweat, the pollen in your throat makes you cough, and the pollen in your nose makes you sneeze. All while your trying to handle a heavy finger chopping machine on a wobbly ladder.

Here is a before and after of the bush. It's not the best work but it's still a lot better and if Dad wants to do a touch up he is more than welcome to.


And here is Dad.

Gold Colored Crayon

It's that time of the year again. Beast bush needed a haircut once again, and this time I also did a bunch in my parents' back yard. Fortunately Dad was a little more physically than vocally helpful this year.

Before I went out, Mom wanted to show me the aftermath of one of her mosquito bites. For some reason, mosquitoes seem to be very attracted to her, and what she showed me was horrifying. The bite was on her upper right thigh and it looked like someone hit her because there was a tremendous black and blue mark. One thing to note about Mom is that she bruises rather drastically. Curious I asked her if she was wearing any gold. She told me her wedding band and engagement ring is white gold. So I asked her to take it off and rub it on her face. Immediately her skin turned ash colored where ever she rubbed. She didn't believe me until she saw for herself in the bathroom mirror. Then she had me do it and nothing happened. Then she went over to Dad and started rubbing it all over his face and nothing happened. Content that the ring was now nice and clean she tried it again on her face. And her face turned black again.

Yep, it looks like Mom is anemic. I remember when I first heard about this. My middle school science teacher was talking about how gold jewelery can cause the skin to change colors. For example fake gold chains tend to leave green lines around necks. And people with low iron levels tend to have black marks left when real gold is rubbed up against their skin. My friend is anemic and she told me she brusies very easily, which is what made me think my Mom might be when she showed me that mosquito bite.

Nevertheless Mom protested that every day she takes a vitamin that has 100% high iron levels and eats a bowl of 'Frosted Mini-wheats'. The reason the cereal is noteworthy is because I noticed one day that the iron content in every version of 'Frosted Mini-wheats' I've seen is 90%. I didn't have an answer for her as to why her skin was turning black. But it turns out that at the end of the day she tried it again and this time she noticed no black marks. So maybe she had low levels in the morning before she had much food and before the vitamin was completely absorbed.

I had never seen the black marks before and thought it was pretty cool seeing how quickly they formed on her face. It was like drawing with a marker.