The Jealously of Scarecrows Everywhere

So often today we find people separating faith and reason saying they are not compatible. But this is not true. Today is St. Thomas Aquinas' feast day, and he was the guy who wedded the common sense self-evident truths of Aristotle with the revealed truths given to us in Scripture. As our own Pope John Paul II said, "in his thinking, the demands of reason and the power of faith found the most elevated synthesis ever attained by human thought."

The language of St. Thomas' theology is incredibly dry but nevertheless page turningly interesting. He is like today's talking heads that keep us listening in just to hear what they are going to say next. It's exciting to see what St. Thomas is going to prove next, even if he does it in the most dry almost emotionless way possible. Occasionally though we are treated to some glimmers of his emotion when he speaks on things he is particularly passionate about. Also I find it very amusing reading his formal arguments on the necessity of humor.

Being a life-long student, always wanting to learn new things, but being limited with the brain I have been given, it is encouraging to know that the greatest thinker in history also had some difficulties. After all his fellow classmates called him a "dumb ox", and he had to work hard to get things to click. But eventually they did, and that ox bellowed so loud that 700 years later he is still the reference and master of philosophy and theology. And for the rest of us struggling with our own studies he left us a prayer to help us out. I particularly like the 'with charm' line at the end.

Student's Prayer by St. Thomas

Creator of all things,
true source of light and wisdom,
origin of all being,
graciously let a ray of your light penetrate
the darkness of my understanding.

Take from me the double darkness
in which I have been born,
an obscurity of sin and ignorance.

Give me a keen understanding,
a retentive memory, and
the ability to grasp things
correctly and fundamentally.

Grant me the talent
of being exact in my explanations
and the ability to express myself
with thoroughness and charm.

Point out the beginning,
direct the progress,
and help in the completion.

I ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.

Swish

Basketball is a rather fascinating sport. Here there be giants. Afterall it isn’t everyday you see a 7-foot tall man walking around. Additionally for those of us who have played basketball in our driveways it can be particularly astonishing to see professionals play it. When we watch other sports, like say water polo, or other ones that we don’t ever play, it can be hard to appreciate the skill of the professionals. But basketball is something everyone’s played. We know we are lucky to touch the strings of the net, and squeal with delight if we make a basket from the foul line.

This weekend I went to my first basketball game. Now I had been in this stadium a few times before, and everytime I was way up high, so the court looked really small. This time I was in the 2nd row. So you have the floor, then row 1 and then me. And I was at midcourt. So I was a little excited because I figured being so low, that maybe the players would seem as tall as they are in real life, and not like little ants when seen from so far above. And they were. They were really tall. The only problem was that there were several rows of floor seats. So I was still a ways back from the court, and all the people on the floor chose to stand the whole time. That meant I could not see the players very well if they were towards the side of the court closest to me. It was also a little odd. Those people on the floor probably paid very high sums to get those seats, but because of all the rows and all being on the same level (the floor), the people in the back rows would have had a terrible view with all those people in front of them. I saw two very small girls in the back row and there was no way they could see anything. So I suppose there is more to a basketball game than the game itself.

With the view I had, I think the best seats would either be slightly higher than where I was, or possibly on the other side of the court where the press was on the floor. The press stays seated so if you’re right behind them you can still see fine. But it wasn’t all bad. In fact it was very fun. I went with Monica, and we had two guys directly behind us who were quite talkative. I’m not exactly sure who they were talking to all the time, but I told Monica that it was nice having our own personal sportscasters to help us understand what was going on. In fact, despite the blocked view, they often seemed to be able to see the game better than the refs.

I wasn’t exactly sure who to root for, but decided to go with the advice set forth in the baseball song and rooted for the home team. Although half the time I was clapping for the other team. I kept forgetting I wasn’t supposed to clap for them. They kept making nice plays and good shots, and I felt like clapping. Unfortunately though, they made too many nice plays and good shots and they won the game. But Monica and I had fun. I recorded the game on TV and watched it to see if I made it to the big screen but no. At one point Monica saw us on the billboard but it was during a commercial. Maybe if we had the uncut version of the game you’d be able to see us.

Fashion Not Limited to Hair

Today is tasteful Thursday, and today's subject is mullets. Like a bad comb over, we all love them. They are so incredibly ugly that most of us can't help but smile when we see them and wonder what the wearer is thinking. This isn't to say we mock the wearer, so much as we are awed by his, or, in some very sad cases, her, choice in style. Or rather we shouldn't be hair-fashionistas because we too probably have some horrible styles that we love to wear out in public. Like a rather abundant fellow who likes to wear skimpy bathing suits at the pool or beach. In fact we have such an affinity for spotting these fashions that we could make variations on the rules to "Bug I win."

The business in front, party in back, theme of the mullet occurs elsewhere making it seem as though there are anthropological tie-ins to this style. This is supported from the fact that people simply can neither be serious all the time, nor spend all day goofing off. A balance is needed. Indeed the mullet could be interpreted as a modern day yin-yang.

Many years ago I found another occurrence of the mullet. It is seen from line paper ripped out of a spiral bound notebook rather than nicely torn from the perforations. In this case the lines represent all business, but the funny tassels on the left end of the sheet are just a chaotic mess of activity. Like the haircuts however, ripped notebook paper is ugly, and should never occur.

Which brings me to a central point about mullets. While they may represent a deep need for balance, they are incredibly ugly, and unless one is purposely wearing it to bring about a smile, they should never be worn. Ever. And all variations on mullets should never occur. While dressing this morning, it was early and I was in a rush to get the day going. I knew right away that I wanted to wear a sweater with a collared shirt underneath. I also knew the jeans I had thought about wearing I wanted to save until tomorrow, and I was thinking that my slacks did not go with the colors in my sweater without making me look like I belonged in the Caribbean on a cool night. So I chose my other pair of jeans to wear instead. Then this afternoon, while washing my hands before lunch I saw myself in the mirror. And I realized my outfit is a mullet. My jeans have holes, and bold patterns on them, whereas my sweater and shirt look like they belong on a father with an established household. I saw myself in the mirror and instantly that smile which comes natural to all sights of mullets appeared and I found myself thinking what on Earth was I thinking this morning.

Baby Care

There are several things about the care of babies that I do not understand. To the point where I had a dream about it the other night after I found myself thinking about during the day.

The first thing I do not understand about babies is the notion that they find rocking relaxing. When I rock back and forth I am normally in an anxious state of mind. I find that my emotions are at a level of anxiousness that has not yet brought me to my feet to pace, but I still want to be doing some movement while seated so I rock. Generally if I am to the point of rocking then I am very close to pacing. Now I suppose that the purpose of pacing and rocking must have some sort of calming effect if that is what my body instinctively does when I get anxious. Just like if I get sleepy, my body instinctively tries to go to sleep so that I will be less sleepy, here if I am anxious my body instinctively sets to rocking to become less anxious.

But when I am not anxious, then I do not like to rock. In fact I purposely try not to rock. This is because I find that rocking, in a relaxed state, makes me a little sea-sick. So rather than becoming more relaxed I end up becoming less relaxed. In fact, I rarely see people simply rocking back and forth. Even when sitting in rocking chairs, the people I see tend to just sit there. I think the rocking chairs are appealing because they offer so many different angles to seat, sort of like a one size fits all hat. So it makes me wonder if I am not alone in my displeasure of rocking. And if I am not alone, then I do not see why we should think babies enjoy it. Maybe if the baby's were anxious about something, then we could rock them. I imagine if I was a baby and saw how high I was off the ground being carried by someone I had only just met, I would probably be a little anxious, but we have no idea if they are anxious or not. Toddlers seem rather fearless but grow up to become more fearful, so maybe newborns are even more fearless than toddlers. But I think we should error on the side of caution. We do not know if the babies are anxious, but we can be pretty sure that rocking them will make them sick if it makes us sick too. So let's not rock them, unless we know they are upset like when they are crying, just so long as they didn't start crying while we were rocking them.

Now swinging is a different matter altogether. While it seems very similar to rocking, swinging is actually quite enjoyable. And maybe that's why it is okay for babies. When we hold babies and rock them back and forth, if you look at how they are positioned, the babies are really closer to the position we are in when we are swinging. We are really moving their entire body back and forth, rather than just their upper half. Maybe just moving the upper half is what makes rocking un-enjoyable. In any event, I think children should simply just be held and hugged rather than swung about from some dizzying lofty height.

The next thing I wonder about is baby clothing. So often I see babies dressed in a fashion that makes them look similar to cubs. But babies are not bears, and I see little reason to dress them as such. They can't tell us if they are hot or cold, and lack the ability to dress themselves. So often I see them in winter hats, in doors, when I am burning up as it is without a hat on. I have to wonder if they too are really hot. Maybe that's why they cry. Also babies grow rapidly, making me think they have high metabolisms, and if that's the case, then they should probably be perfectly warm if I am too. Finally I have heard all about toddlers who have an affinity for taking off their clothes and then proceeding to run around their surroundings. If they like running around naked, then I think they are perfectly warm enough. So there is no need to dress the child as an Eskimo.

Late Night Competitive Dancing

Helmuth von Moltke the Elder, would support me when I say that nothing I ever plan goes according to plan. That's an obscure reference, but with a name as cool as that, I'm definitely using it. I was supposed to meet with Monica on Friday, but plans changed and we decided to meet yesterday. This time she came up to visit me for the first time. Now it my responsibility to figure out our activities. And I came up with several ideas. First I thought we could eat in and make a meal. Then we could go ice-skating, bowling, glow-in-the-dark putt-putting, salsa dancing, or play pool.

Monica told me she is not a huge meat person, so I tried to come up with a vegetarian dish. She also said she wanted to go to the mall so that she could potentially use one of the gift cards she got for Christmas. But we were also going to Mass. So now things started to become busy, and I figured the easiest but still fantastic tasting dish to make would be grilled cheese and tomato soup. I had all these ideas and meal put in my head but didn't tell her to keep her guessing.

On Saturday she came up with her sister who happened to be going to a birthday party in town. I showed Monica my place, and then we went to Church and were joined by her sister, who I met for the first time. After Mass, I got to talk briefly with her sister and then Monica and I went off to the grocery store. She was okay with my dinner idea, but decided she really wanted to cook something more involved, so we walked up and down the aisles and decided to make fajitas. She said meat is okay but that she never really craves lots of it, like steak. That could be a red flag. But the fajitas we made were amazing. Over dinner we talked, amongst other things, about how this was our third date and whether ir was supposed to end with a kiss or a hug.

After that we went to the mall, and discussed my activites. She liked all of them but I could tell she wasn't super enthused about any of them. So I said, that I would be perfectly fine just heading back to my place to play "Just Dance 2" which I purcased earlier that day. She thought that was a marvelous idea (I purchased the game because she practically told me to), and we did that. She gets very serious about her video game playing. She actually went into my bathroom to change into a short sleeve t-shirt and shorts. We had some extremely close matches, with only 5 point differences, and it was a lot of fun.

After this we played a few games on the Playstation, but I had sort of wanted to talk about our relationship and hear what she thought about it. So while loading up Pac-man I asked her about it. This sort of threw her off guard, as it's not necessarily something you just discuss, and then I explained. I said that typically when I get into a relationship, it comes naturally from an already well devleoped friendship. But in this new sort of situation I didn't really know what the protocol is and was wondering what she thought. At this point I wasn't doing to good in Pac-man and got frustrated while trying to talk to her so I turned it off and we put on Season 1 of 'Arrested Development' as background noise as we continued talking.

She too wasn't sure how to handle this situation we are in because it is new to her as well. So we decided the best route to take would be to just continuing to develop a friendship and see how things naturally progress. I was fine with this.

As we were sitting there watching TV, I mentioned to her that I found it amusing that she sat right in the middle of the couch. In that way, no matter where I sat I had to sit somewhere near her. At this she growled a bit and scooted way to the other side. At some point her sister called saying she was getting ready to come over. She asked what we were doing and I said cuddling, because at this point I was listening in on the phone call and I was shoulder to shoulder with her. She looked at me and asked, "You call this cuddling?" And I said no, but I wanted to see what her sister would say. Which was nothing. After the phone call, I decided to be sly and said, "this is what I consider cuddling" and I tried to pull her over into a sort of hugging position. But she yelled that it was extremely uncomfortable, and tried to show me her cuddling position. Her idea of cuddling was to sit side-by-side holding hands. I told her this seemed like a Victorian style of cuddling and that I felt obligated to sit with perfect posture and in fine clothes complete with leggings in this position. So we spent the next fifteen minutes or so discussing the mechanics of cuddling, and just as we got fairly comfortable her sister walked right into my apartment.

She plopped down on the couch too and we talked for the next hour. Monica's sister is extremely nice and also quite interesting. After five minutes of being there she said to me, "You're nice, I like you." I had no idea how to respond to this matter-of-fact statement so I didn't. Some time went by and she said it again. This time I said, "thank you, but you're making me feel like a character in Borat." "I like you". Early on, like right away, I started questioning her about the guy she was with all night long. Monica gave me the details, that she is friends with a guy who apparently is head over heels for her, but she thinks they're just friends. And we talked about this for awhile, when Monica interrupted and said, "You see what I mean? He gets you talking about anything." Earlier in the night, Monica said one of the things that surprised her about me, but that she likes very much is that she feels very comfortable talking about anything to me and she felt that very early on in our relationship, whereas with some people she doesn't feel that way or takes a long time to warm up to them. I think I'm just curious.

Around 12:30 they hit the road and I turned off "Arrested Development" which was stil playing and hit my bed. So the night was fun and great all around, and nearly completely made up minute by minute.

Pantry Puddles

While washing the floors last weekend, I noticed a rather syrupy puddle near the corner of my pantry. I can be a little absent minded from time to time, so I figured that maybe I had spilled something sugary in the past few weeks and did not do a very good job cleaning it up, although I was rattling my brains trying to figure out what I could have possibly spilled that could have left such a large and unnoticed mess. If I had spilled something I would have looked for a mess and found the puddle. But because I wasn't looking for it, this puddle went largely unnoticed for quite some time I'm supposing, because it is in the corner of the floor and it doesn't get a lot of traffic.

A few days later I noticed the puddle was reforming, and this time I knew I had not spilled anything. Now I had looked in the pantry the first time I found the puddle to see if something had been knocked over, but everything looked in order. This time I did a closer inspection. On the floor of my pantry I have two twelve packs. One of sugar based Pepsi and the other of sugar based Mountain Dew. They are two years old, and went undrank because they were out of sight and mind. Plus I typically don't drink cans, because one can is usually more than I have in a sitting.

This time when I did my close inspection, I was pulling things out and when I lifted up the Mountain Dew carton I found the source of my puddle. Somehow the pop from these cartons had managed to escape from the cans and had formed what was now a moldy puddle that was so large it had managed to drip over the lip of the molding of my pantry. Hey, that's pretty clever. It's not every day you get to use two different definitions of mold in the same sentence. And that should highlight the uniqueness of the situation.

After I pulled out the cartons and put them in my sink, I grabbed my camera. I was excited to see the cans. I had figured that the acid of the pop had managed to eat its way through the cans, and they would be reduced to splintery aluminium. I tried the Mountain Dew and reached for a can. But it was full. And I grabbed another. It too was full. Same with the next and the next. They all seemed perfectly fine. But then I grabbed one that gave way a bit in my hand. The can's walls seemed to be like a half-deflated balloon. You can't really grab it without it conforming to your hand. This can was about half full, but I couldn't find any holes in it. I tilted it around but nothing came out.

So I moved to the Pepsi. Again the cans seemed fine for the most part. Some of them had mold on the outside but that washed off and they looked good as new. Then I grabbed one can that appeared full but was too light. I shook the can and heard a swallow's worth of pop splashing around but the can itself was firm. I then got a pot, filled it water, and submerged the can to look for air bubbles. Nothing. I then squeezed it pretty good, but still nothing. Then I decided to be brave and squeeze it very hard. Then I managed to get some air to come out of it. Apparently there were micro holes on the can and I'm guessing this is where the pop leaked out. But I couldn't see holes with my naked eye. I could just tell they were there when I rubbed my finger over them and the air stopped flowing. And apparently they are small enough that they prevent the can from being easily crushed like most cans.

I'm still not sure how the holes formed. Maybe the sugar in the pop reacted with the other ingredients and caused a fermentation to occur which released some gas which eventually managed to escape through the weakest faults of the can. And from there the liquid followed. I suppose it's plausible, but I don't really know. Well, like I said, I had grabbed my camera, but unfortunately there were no pictures worth taking because all the cans looked tip top. I took one of the bottom of the Mountain Dew carton, but just imagine a very wet and moldy carton on the bottom and you'll get the idea.

I suppose this should compel me to look around elsewhere in my pantry or frig for those old condiments or other items I haven't used in a few years and give them a chuck. But like a 7 year old showing off his mud pie, I'd rather share this amazing messy story with you than get cleaned up.

Pop Faster Than You Can Say Pop

This is one of those posts were it is best read with a tune playing in the backround. So open this link in a new tab and then read on. And if it isn't long enough for you to finish reading all this, then here is another.

Staying up until midnight, is quite challenging for me. If I'm engaged in some highly enjoyable activity that requires some sort of physical movement, maybe like salsa dancing getting there can be easier, but ultimately my sugar crash is going to come. And on New Year's Eve I found myself unable to make it until midnight. Nevertheless, the daytime was full of activity.

Apparently the first date had been successful enough that Monica wanted to meet up again. We had planned to meet on Sunday where I live, but a change of her plans prevented this from happening. So we decided to meet Friday morning where she lives. Again we started at the coffee shop. This time I got a mango smoothie. There we talked for a while, and then we hopped in her car for a tour of the town. First we went out of town to a much smaller town to see a very fast soda can dispensing machine. In the middle of "down town" there are two pop machines that are very old outside of a local shop. You put in 75 cents, and press the button. But before you've even taken your finger off the button your can of pop is sitting for you. The speed of these two very old machines really is surprising. It's like flipping a light switch, and there's little noise. You look down and the can is there.

So now fueled with some more sugar we went back into Monica's town and had the tour. First I wanted to see the plots she is thinking about buying to build a house on. Right now she lives at home to save money for a house rather than renting out an apartment. Next we went to her school and saw her classroom, the library and the gym. In the gym it just so happened that the 7th grade volleyball team was finishing up their practice. We went in and all her students screamed their greetings. I could tell she is very well liked amongst her students. The students looked at me, but didn't talk to me or ask her about me. But she might get some questions when school starts later this week. I noticed two pull up bars on the wall and told her to do a pull up. She tried but mostly just hung there. One of the 7th graders tried, and also just hung there. Then she told me to do one. This was not something I wanted to do. I doubt I could even hang there. But my ego required me to show off in front of a bunch of 7th grade girls so I gave it a try. And remarkably I was able to do one. But that wasn't good enough, Monica then told me to do it one handed. And believe it or not I was able to do two of them! So that was special. I told her that she didn't realize it yet but that I'm a hunk.

Next we went downtown to see where her Dad works. He's the manager of a car dealership. The day before the dealership in this little town sold 22 cars. Monica said it's for tax purposes that people are buying them. After the dealership I noticed a gentleman's clothing store and asked if it is any good. She said it's really good, and asked if I wanted to stop. I said I was looking for a sports jacket, and we ended up going in. The guy working and Monica agreed that I am not old enough to wear a tweed sports jacket. I had really wanted one so this was a let down. The guy also said that it wouldn't be appropriate for my reason for buying it. He said I needed a black blazer. And I said, that I already have a black suit coat, so it doesn't make much sense to me to get essentially another black suit coat except with shiny big buttons. He said I needed to anyway, and pulled one off the rack. Both he and Monica said it looked fantastic. And it did, even wearing my blue jeans, so I got it. While in there we had a lot of fun walking around and seeing completely overpriced Bill Cosby sweaters and other very bold rather ugly clothing that apparently is in style. But some of the clothing was indeed very nice like Monica said.

After that we went bowling. We played two games, she won. That's all I want to say about that.

Then we went to Wal-Mart to get some food for a New Year's party she was going to later that night. She wanted pickles, because at home she had cream cheese and salami. She wanted to roll the pickles in the salami and cream cheese. This was one of her first red flags. Cream cheese is gross. Throughout the day we had been talking about her parents' reaction to her hanging out with me. We talked about visiting her home but I could tell she wasn't ready quite yet. But by the time we left Wal-Mart she wanted to still hangout so she decided to let me come over so we could roll up the pickles.

Her parents are both nice. After the pickles I got the grand tour. The house is extremely well decorated. But it is a little odd. The parents have a first floor master bedroom. The house is decorated very traditionally but very nicely, and then you walk into the master suite. The master suite is essentially a lounge down in a beach theme. There is a sofa in the bedroom and all the furniture is wicker and the colors are all pastel blues and yellows, and white. Then you go into the master bathroom, which is actually an addition to the house, and again it is a beach theme. From the bedroom you can go outside to their backyard, where they have a pool and beach house. All of this is also very well done, but going from the rest of the house to the bedroom is so jarring that I'm surprised they did it. Monica said her Mom likes the beach theme.

We went up to her bedroom. She likes to accessorize and I saw her table of accessories. On it she had four pairs of eyeglass frames with regular glass. This is apparently all the rage nowadays. She tried them all on and told me what styles they were supposed to convey. Given she wasn't dressed for any of the styles they all looked bad, but I suppose they could look good. For example, pretty much any girl is going to look good dressed as a librarian :) Anyway, when she showed me the nerd glasses I tried it on. It had very large glass in them, almost like rectangular aviators, and thick black rims. When I put them on she squealed saying, "You look sooo good. If you were walking down the street wearing them, girls would drool over you." I went and looked in the mirror and thought I looked a lot like Elvis Costello. I don't know if he's exactly what ladies like, but I like his style so I was happy.

Shortly after this we had to get going so she could get on to her party. And that was the end of date number 2. I was told the next day, that her Mom was very happy with me. I thought I could have made a better first impression. When we went to the house we were a little rushed, and I'm not very good with asking short answer questions. So I didn't know really what to say to her parents, and they had to ask me everything to keep the conversation going. But if we had more time, I would have had things to talk about. As for upcoming events, we are planning to meet this Friday, after a basket ball game she has to help out with. We are going to grab dinner, and apparently her friends are going to be with her.

If you do not know who Elvis Costello is, this is a sadness. Your parents probably would though. Here is his picture.