Before the wedding started I was sitting outside talking to some of the other participants. At one point a man sat down to chat with me. He is the father of the 2nd grade flower girl and preschool ring bearer. We were chatting for a little while about the war in Afghanistan when one of the mothers who I know well came and joined us.
At this point the conversation changed a little. She asked the man what was new with him. He said that his wife has been thinking about quitting her job to stay home with her children. Or maybe she wants to be there when they get home from school, I’m not sure, but the point is she is thinking about quitting her current job. He said that she was conflicted about the decision because by staying home with her children she would not be able to pursue her career and later in life she might regret that decision to not see how far she could take it.
This man was a stranger so when I spoke I tried to do it very delicately and said that I believe in the twilight of our years when we look back on our lives, we will never regret having spent time with our children. He sort of sat there with a reflective look on his face. But to this, the mother who had joined us scolded me for making such a generalized statement. And her husband sat down and agreed with her. Now they are my elders and I was in a public place so I kept my mouth shut and let them yell at me in front of this stranger. But the whole time I was thinking, anyone who would find more satisfaction in pursuing a career than raising their own child is not fit to be a parent. Note however that this is completely different than, for example, a Mom who must work to provide for her children.
In other news, Gurney is coming to visit this weekend! She moved a little over a year ago and has only been back once.
At this point the conversation changed a little. She asked the man what was new with him. He said that his wife has been thinking about quitting her job to stay home with her children. Or maybe she wants to be there when they get home from school, I’m not sure, but the point is she is thinking about quitting her current job. He said that she was conflicted about the decision because by staying home with her children she would not be able to pursue her career and later in life she might regret that decision to not see how far she could take it.
This man was a stranger so when I spoke I tried to do it very delicately and said that I believe in the twilight of our years when we look back on our lives, we will never regret having spent time with our children. He sort of sat there with a reflective look on his face. But to this, the mother who had joined us scolded me for making such a generalized statement. And her husband sat down and agreed with her. Now they are my elders and I was in a public place so I kept my mouth shut and let them yell at me in front of this stranger. But the whole time I was thinking, anyone who would find more satisfaction in pursuing a career than raising their own child is not fit to be a parent. Note however that this is completely different than, for example, a Mom who must work to provide for her children.
In other news, Gurney is coming to visit this weekend! She moved a little over a year ago and has only been back once.
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