Scrumptious Bunch of Bite Sized Bears

Chocolate Chai Latte's taste like Teddy Grahams. I made this discovery last night at a coffee shop 45 minutes from where I live. And I was there on a date.

We had been talking for a couple weeks through e-mail, and finally decided to meet up. We might have sooner if not for the holidays. We had decided to meet at the coffee shop at 6:00. As we were discussing where to meet through the e-mails, I pointed out to her that while I hate coffee it seems like coffee dates are the most traditional first dates and so we should do it anyway. She, Monica, also doesn't like coffee but suggested it because it does seem like the most comfortable way to meet someone new. So we decided to both go to a place that specializes in drinks that neither of us like. And they do have other drinks, such as the Chai Latte, which was suprisingly good, because I have never been a terribly huge fan of Teddy Grahams and didn't think my tastes would change with them in liquid form.

When we arrived we found the coffee shop closes at 7, but we decided to get some drinks anyway and I decided to eat. She already had dinner, and while I felt a little uncomfortable eating in front of a relative stranger I also had no idea when I might get another chance to eat, and on Tuesday's the coffee shop had a BBQ sandwich special which I was unable to pass up. The sandwich was very good. I suppose her company was very good too, but that sandwich really was rather good.

When we sat down, she immediately took over the conversation which made me feel a bit uncomfortable. First off, she was asking me questions at a mile a minute, most of which required lengthy responses. Trying to work on proper table manners, this meant I was unallowed to eat and talk with my mouth full as usual. So I had to let my food sit a bit while I chatted away about myself. And I really wanted to eat that sandwich. The other problem was that I don't like talking about myself for long periods of time, even if I'm asked questions about myself because I don't want to sound like I'm very self-centered. Yes I'm sensational, but we musn't brag. But eventually I was able to start asking her some questions and then things became more back and forth. And it was nice that she was talkative and wanted to ask a ton of questions right away.

At 7 we decided to go either to Steak and Shake or Buffalo Wild Wings. I chose BW3s because it seemed like an easier atmosphere for talking. It is a little louder so we would be less likely to be overheard, which is good from my standpoint, and the many TV screens give us something to look at during any potential periods of silence as we think about what to talk about next. We made some small orders and continued to chat for four hours before I felt I should get on the road.

During the night we talked about pretty much anything you could think of. From the existence of objective morality to whether or not current pop music is good for dancing. She thinks it is, and I think she is nuts. She has two friends who are also teachers that are around her age, and when she told them about me when we still e-mailing they just had to see my Profile and Facebook page. Well apparently they got jealous of her and signed up too. In fact, being a small world, I am one of theirs third highest match. However, like my friend, neither of them have pictures posted, so I haven't seen them. Anyway, while my friend gets e-mails fairly frequently for someone with no pictures, they haven't received any, and their other top matches are guys that are rather underwhelming from what I hear. I found this all rather complementing because I'm not used to causing jealously.

So in the end we spent 5 hours talking away, and I found it all to be a pleasant time. At no point did I feel like any red flags were being waved about, and she and I both want to meet up again sometime. Although I have no idea when, where, or for what.

If I have any problem it is a very small one. She reminds me both in looks and mannerisms of another girl I know. Now when I first met this girl we hit it off quickly, we became good friends, and I had wanted to try going on a few dates with her. But overtime I realized that we would not make a good couple at all. With this new girl I am trying to differentiate the two, saying she is a completely different person. Or maybe she really is very similar but the extra years have made a difference. In other words, despite some similarities I'm keeping an open mind. I suppose this could almost sound like I'm already looking for an out, but I don't think so. Say we have a great friend from our past, and this new person acts just like our friend. Then our first impression would be that this person could potentially also be a great friend. Well the same is true here, but just opposite. Now I really don't think she is so similar to this other friend of mine that it's a game killer, it's just a few of the similarities are something I've noted in the back of my head.

So there you have it. A successful first date with more to come.

Grinning Dogs

The Wii is a lot of fun. However, before the Wii there was the Nintendo Entertainment System. And this Christmas it did exactly that, it entertained. Dad was in the mood to play 'Duck Hunt'. So I went downstairs and set it up for him. Our NES may be over twenty years old but it still works great. Long ago I took it apart and "fixed it". Now you do not even have to push the cartridges down to get them to play. Blowing is a thing of the past. We keep it hooked up to an old TV through my parents old Betamax VHS player. This is beneficial because apparently new TVs cannot even play Duck Hunt, because Duck Hunt relied on the technology of old TVs to work with the Zapper. I set it up, and gave Dad the Zapper. He did very well, making it to stage 10. Then Brittany gave it whirl. She didn't do very well. She kept losing, maybe getting a few ducks at random. Then I tried and made it to stage 4. This was very aggrevating.

Then Brittany decided to try again. And this time, with Dad's guidance, something clicked. Getting several perfects, she made it all the way to level 20 before she missed one duck and lost. At that point the game requires you to hit them all. She did so good that I ran up stairs to call Mom, who also came down to see her perform.

After that, and being very competitive, no one was really in the mood to play Duck Hunt anymore. So we pulled out the Track and Meet. To get back some self-esteem, I quickly played through and won the tournament mode against the computer. Then we did two player modes. That was fun.

After that I played Super Mario Brothers, and Brittany and Dad played jacks. I beat the game real quick, and kept yelling out various check points to them but they were completely absorbed. When I made it to Bowser, to my surprise I did something I had only seen on video with small Mario. Being big Mario with fire power, I ran towards him at full speed. He shot a flame at me which I slid under. Then he started with the hammers, which, while still running full speed, I jumped up and through a small gap in between them and landed right on the axe. I screamed out loud, and that finally got their attention. Dad simply said, "You beat it already?" Brittany said, "Yeah, but I saw you warp". And I threw my hands up in frustration and tried to join them in jacks, which I apparently cannot play very well. But if you'd like to see what I did, the end of this video is exactly what happened, except I was big with fire power.



After a while we were flipping through TV stations and decided to watch some American Ninja Warrior. Brittany became motivated. This is what ensued.

Coffee beans and little white sticks

According to most of you, the way to meet people at a store is to come up with some way of incorporating whatever the interesting person is looking at into a conversation. Yesterday I had some practice at this. I was at a beauty store looking for some perfume for my sister for Christmas. A while back I got a catalog in the mail that had an envelop full of perfume samples. I was curious and decided to smell them and found two that I liked. I kept them handy because I thought they might make for a fun gift for my sister.

While I was at the store, I was again surprised about how expensive beauty products are. In this case, the small bottle of what I wanted to get was over $90. It was hard for me to understand because there were other similarly sized bottles of the same brand, just a different smell I guess, for much cheaper. Maybe what I was looking at used rarer ingredients, I don't know, but I wasn't feeling to happy about spending 90 dollars on a bottle of perfume, for my sister of all people, when I don't know if she is even going to like it. But then I found a small sample pack of four scents all of the same brand that included the one I wanted to get, and for much cheaper. Plus, I thought getting the sample pack would be more fun for my sister to experiment with, in case she didn't like what I wanted for her.

My only trouble was there was a girl standing right next to me who was sniffing away. And everytime she tried something she'd put it right back down and say something like, "Lord have mercy, that is nasty. Who'd want to wear something like that. emmhmmm that's gross." And so on. This worried me because I started thinking that maybe what I had chosen wasn't any good after all. I looked at her until she looked at me, and thrust my perfume of choice at her and said, "Alright, try this one and tell me what you think." "Mmmmh, I like that." "Please, be as honest with this as you were with all these others, this is supposed to be a Christmas present." "Oh no, I like this, I'd wear this. You can get this." So hopefully my sister will agree with the sniffer. And no, I did not pursue any further conversation with this very interesting lady.

Skiing Pinguins

Around midnight I made it to my room. Us guys were all given our own rooms that had a bed, closet, and sink. One of the people on the retreat gave me directions on how to find it. Still I had no idea of what to expect on this retreat or where to go. I had not been given a schedule of events, and because I was so late in arriving I didn't know anyone or the layout of the land. I just knew morning prayer started around 6. It was optional but I didn't know when else or where else anything was occurring so I figured I should show up to prayer and then I would be hustled to where I supposed to be after that. Before I went to bed I noticed that while my room was very warm, there were no vents on the floor or ceiling. So I figured the heat must be coming from the hallway, which meant when I closed my door slowly but surely the room was going to get significantly colder.

I went to bed at midnight exhausted, and after rolling around for awhile I looked at the clock and saw it was 2:40. I was freezing and still hadn't slept. When I first went to bed my mind was still going a mile a minute replaying the very unsual day's odd events. But as it slowed down and I started getting sleepier so too did the temperature, and at twenty to three I got out of bed and started adding whatever sheets I could find. I had brought a big blanket and didn't want to be a burden and use the extra bedding that was provided, also I'm a little germaphobe and don't like the idea of snuggling with sheets from an unknown source with an unknown last washed date handled by an unknown person, but knew I needed sleep if I was going to function later that day. Finally I fell and stayed asleep until my alarm went off at 5:45. When I woke up that first morning and got out of bed I immediately fell down because my right leg had fallen asleep after being pressed against the hard mattress. I found the "beds" were comprised of a thin mattress put on top of a wood board. The second night though I was so physically exhausted and numb with cold from being outside for a couple hours, still with my arms full, that even with the door shut my room was still 30 or so degrees warmer than it was outside, and despite that hard mattress I slept like a rock.

On that first full morning, I went into the Church for morning prayer, again with full arms, and found only a very few others had decided to attend the optional morning prayer. I guess my fellow retreatants needed their sleep too; finals had just ended for most of them and they were probably exhausted. Being morning I finally got to start figuring out how things worked. The retreat was on the grounds of a religious community called the Brothers of Saint John. I'm not sure if you'd call it a monastery but essentially they have several buildings spread out over a few acres of land. The community is comprised of both brothers and sisters. When I say brothers think of the friar from the Robin Hood cartoon. And while I say brother, a few of them are priests, so maybe monk is the better term. I think for the most part the sisters are cloistered meaning they do get very involved with the outside world. I saw them and they always gave very big cheerful hellos, but they kept to themselves and their work. After watching them from the distance, I decided they were as industrious as the best of us, but went about their work the way a child of 5 goes about his play. And like a child playing in the snow, they seemed much too delighted about whatever it was they were doing to be bothered by the cold.

The grounds were expansive enough that walking from building to building can take some time, but small enough that driving seems a bit overkill. And since everything was covered in snow, riding a bike was out of the question. So instead the brothers and sisters would often cross-country ski from building to building. That was pretty cool to see.

So I'm in silent morning prayer, with a few of my fellows in the pews and all of the brothers kneeling on the floor in the front, when I hear a snore. One of the brothers had fallen asleep and was snoring! It was impossible for me to tell which one it was because they were all kneeling with straight postures but sure enough one of them had fallen asleep. That was very amusing.

From then on the rest of the retreat was like any standard retreat. I was able to figure out the schedule and got to meet many people. There were talks, prayer and social activities. The food was plentiful and good. My arms remained full the entire retreat, but I grew accustomed to my odd new addition. When I was saying my goodbyes on Sunday, the head priest came over, thanked me for my help, and asked if I had enjoyed what I could of the retreat. Then one of the team members said, "Father, he was one of the participants!"

But while the activities were like any other retreat it was different. These brothers who lead the retreat were amazing. To me they were like living saints. They all had a serene quality about them. When they smiled they seemed to smile with their entire body. They simply lit up whatever room they entered. They were all exceptionally bright, spoke multiple languages, hold multiple degrees, and were up to date on all the latest cultural happenings. They are Christians who live like Christ and it is catching. Paradoxically they appeared to be very rich but were materially very poor. Some of them didn't wear socks with their sandals and would have to walk through the snow that way. What little they had was functional but rarely comfortable. They didn't even have kneelers in their pews, instead they had this wooden contraption that you put behind your legs and "sit" on. You're still on your knees on the granite floor but it keeps your feet from falling asleep. But they seemed rich. I think maybe it is because in our world whenever we see people that joyful we tend to think they have it made or live cushy stress free lives. These brothers had few material possessions, and likely have a good deal of stress wondering how to make ends meet, but they are completely trusting that God will provide for them somehow and as a result, despite all their rules and harsh ways of life, they seem more free and alive than most anyone I likely will ever meet.

Building Strength

Lately I have been doing more exercise than usual. Nothing much, but I could hardly do less than what I was. I've been doing 60 pushups and around 100 crunches. Not consecutively but still in one go around. Physically I like myself the way I am, but I want to be in shape and have some strength. I've been doing the pushups for awhile now, and the crunches a new addition. I also tend to walk for about an hour a day, in the form of pacing back and forth in my apartment either on the phone talking or lost in thought.

This weekend I was very grateful for the increased frequency of my workouts because I found myself unexpectedly with my arms full. Earlier in the month I had been invited to go on a retreat, and it was this past weekend. Right up until essentially the moment I left, I had been planning on simply attending the retreat, hopefully coming to peace with my various troubles, and getting to meet new people. But rather than show up empty handed only being able to take, God decided to bless me with arms so full that about the only thing I would be able to do was give.

The first curve ball came before I even left. Due to some odd circumstances I wasn't able to leave home until almost after the retreat had already started and I was 2 hours away. By the time I got there, it was dark, and I had no idea where to go. I decided since this was a retreat the best place to look for people would be in the Church. On the way in I ran into a guy who apparently works the grounds. He was extremely nice and agreed that I should wait in the Church for people to come in. I went in and found it to be dark with one lone guy sitting in the back strumming a guitar. Arms still full I decided to wait in the back of the Church for people to start coming in. And they did. Although no one stopped to talk to me about what I was supposed to do to sign in or put my stuff. Rather I sort of became an unofficial greeter. Everyone was quick to say hello, but I still couldn't figure out what to do logistically, and I hadn't seen the person who invited me and was helping work the retreat. Other than her I didn't know who else to look for because there was no way to tell the difference between participants and team members. In the end I decided to join everyone else in the Church.

At this point I was able to rest my arms for a second and take a break. I was very tired, and crabby. Being tired was my own fault for a week's worth of little sleep. I had a problem turning off Pacman at appropriate hours. But I was crabby and losing patience because no one was helping me with the exception of that nice older guy who did all he could, I had not liked showing up 2 hours late, my arms were full, and after greeting all those people I hadn't seen anyone that was making my heart beat any quicker. I realize now I shouldn't have been crabby. It wasn't their fault I was two hours late, and with the retreat fully underway, expecting someone to just drop everything was rather selfish. The reason we had all gathered in the Church was for adoration. If you are not Catholic, adoration is a time when the Eucharist is exposed and those gathered get an opportunity to sit in the presence of our Lord. Depending on your level of faith on the true presence this experience will range somewhere between completely batty to an ectasy capable of causing levitation. I would fall somewhere in between these extremes, tilting more to the right, and so it was very nice getting to simply sit quitely with Jesus and regain some semblance of calm.

So I'm in there praying when all of a sudden that lone guy in the back starts singing "Oh Come, Oh Come Emmanuel" while playing his guitar. This is not my favorite song. We sing it every advent and by the time the fourth week comes along I really mean the words "Oh Come Emmnauel" just so we can be through singing this terrible song. It's boring, doesn't have a great chorus, and very little rhythm. And yet when this guy sang it, it was probably one of the greatest things I had ever heard. It sounded like how I would imagine one of the saints from old would sing. Like his entire being was caught up in singing to his Love. St. Augustine said, "when you sing you pray twice." In the context of that song I realized I have never sung. And then all too soon my arms were full again and I needed to hustle out of there, leaving everyone behind.

Three Tenses

How the mind reacts to before, present, and after certain situations is an interesting phenomenon. Before any given situation, in our mind we may have an idea about how we would act. And this idea may be very strong. Then when we find ourselves in that situation we may find ourselves completely unable to act in the manner we had thought we would. And finally after the situation we may immediately go back to our prior way of thinking and wonder why it was impossible for us to act in the way we thought we’d be able to.

Part of the noteworthiness of these experiences is the afterness. Practically instantaneously after we just got through a situation we found nearly impossible to act any other way, we go back to thinking in the same scenario we would act in some other way. We just completely failed to live up to how we thought we would act, and automatically think next time is going to be better. And when next time arrives, we find ourselves once again doing exactly what we did last time and not being any closer to acting how we originally thought we would. How we manage to trick ourselves into this line of thought is fascinating.

A good example is sin. Presently I am happy with my sister and love her very much. Because of that if a situation arose where she was aggravating me, I say that my love for her would easily keep me from lashing out and calling her names. So then she all too easily starts getting on my nerves, and all of a sudden it’s so bad I start feeling suffocated by her to the point where my body starts feeling physically in harm’s way, and out of a primal instinct for self-preservation I lash out and call her “fatty McCow butt”. Let’s say that was enough to get her to be quiet and the situation is over. Now immediately I will feel sorry for calling her “fatty McCow butt”, will apologize, and think to myself that in the future I will be more patient with her just I like did prior to calling her the name. This is insanity. If I were to be put in the same situation 5 minutes later, I’d assuredly call her names again. And while I was doing it, it would again be in my mind that behaving any other way, like with patient love, would be borderline impossible.

I didn’t really call her “fatty McCow butt”, that was an example to set up what did happen. I was at the grocery store buying some happiness in the way of new untried snacks. I find it a lot of fun trying out new products at the grocery store. And while I was doing this I saw three girls, one of which was particularly attractive. Attractive enough where I felt I should introduce myself. Now before this situation, I had in my head that of course this is how I would behave. It’s perfectly simple to go up to someone extend your hand and say “hello”. And in fact I have done this on many occasions, so there is even precedence to this line of thought.

But then I found myself in the situation. I knew in my head only a few simple phrases were needed. “Hello, I see you are having ladies night tonight, but would you like to grab a cup of coffee with me sometime.” I knew I was dressed up because of a Christmas party at work earlier today and likely was looking as good as I ever will be. I knew my basket was full, for once, of somewhat adult foods even if they were snacks. I knew that I typically run into girls I find attractive once or twice a year and this may very well be the last time for several months. I knew from several past experiences that the worst she’s likely to do is simply say no thanks and in less than 10 seconds the ordeal would be over and I would be in the same position I was 10 seconds before so I had nothing to lose. And yet, I simply could not bring myself to go up and talk to her. I kept making excuses on top of dealing with the nerves which were kicking in. And so I found myself walking up and down the store trying to build confidence and then I simply ran out of time. So I was a coward, didn’t ask her out, and here I am typing away. And as soon as the situation became apparent that I would not ask her out, I immediately went back to thinking that if I find myself in a similar situation that of course I would ask her out. And not only that, I would build on my lessons from this time around and do it to not be a coward, and for all those various reasons I just said above. That I would keep all these things in mind and not only do it, but do it with calm ease. And here’s the thing. Asking one girl out from a bunch is probably the best way to get a yes because even if she wanted to say no, if she is single her girl friends would probably force her to say yes.

Just watch, in a year from now I’ll be linking back to this post as a reference.

A Response

This morning I decided to send a message to a girl on OKC. She has no pictures posted and her profile is 7 sentences. The only reason I found her was because she favorited me.

Clicking on the profile of someone who has favorited me but has no picture of her own is a little stressful for me. To me it's like a minature blind date. You have no idea what to expect going in, and if this person just isn't for you, you may have to deal with telling them as much because who knows if they are going to be just head-over-heels for you. Okay that's a bit much for just viewing someone's post, but if they happen to be online and they catch you looking and then they try to talking through the built in IM, it's just no fun. So I held my breath and took a peek.

Fortunately those 7 sentences weren't bad. Actually not one of them sent off any flags. I was also pleased that she had atheletic put down as her body type, and Catholic as her religion. Actually I was a little concerned about the Catholic part. On this site you can put, sort of Catholic, Catholic, or very Catholic. Well she only had 'Catholic' and I didn't want a cafeteria Catholic. But I wasn't about to let this potential problem keep me from investigating further.

So this morning I sent her an e-mail. Based on those 7 sentences and little quick factoid section, I asked her a bunch of questions. This was challenging because I still don't know exactly how to start talking to someone. I basically told her, "I have no idea how to start talking to you, but I hear the way is to ask questions. So here a bunch of questions." And later this afternoon she responded.

This time she wrote much more than 7 sentences. She was pleasant too. The only problem was she didn't attach any pictures. I didn't ask her to in my first message. And I didn't ask her to in my reponse to her response either. Hopefully she will without me asking her. I suppose whether or not she does, the whole mystery is sort fun.

Own More Giraffes

There is a foggy dream of a memory I have one when I just a wee lad, probably around 2 or 3. My Mom was pulling out of the driveway and I was sitting in the back seat. As we pulled out I noticed a rather large man standing on the sidewalk, and said, "That's a fat man." My Mom then said I shouldn't call him fat because it wasn't nice. And I remember being very confused. After all he was fat and I didn't understand how saying what he was could be not nice. I guess at that point in my life I didn't know yet that sometimes the truth can hurt, even if it is said in the most innocent setting possible. At that time I just filed it away as something I was supposed to do, and only later came to realize why.

The other day I received an e-mail from work with a bunch of company news articles. One of the articles, about web technology, had the expression 'OMG' in the title. I am not a fan of this phrase, because of what it represents. Now some people will say it can mean 'oh my gosh' but that was not the original intent of the abbreviation, and I do not think this alternative meaning has become so prevalent that 'OMG' can now be equated with it. In general it is a pet peeve of mine when I hear anyone who thinks highly of the 10 commandments using this expression. In addition to being offensive to God, I find it shows a strong lack of self-control and a simple minded attitude that the person saying it couldn't think of something more creative or humourous (I know that first 'u' doesn't belong but I like it). For example, if I must have a loud outburst of frustration, I am very fond of 'shucks' and 'rats'.

I wasn't offended by the abbreviation because I am sure the author simply did not realize what he was doing, but after some thought I decided to send him an e-mail. I do not like the phrase, and strongly oppose websites that use it to link to current popular events like celebrity news. We live in a desensitized enough world as it is.
My e-mail basically said, that while I understood the context of the abbreviation and it's current use in popular culture, many Christians and people from other religious affiliations could find it offensive. Much like my Mom essentially I said, don't say that because it could be rather offensive. Shortly later I received an e-mail back from the author thanking me for the e-mail. He understood my point, and promptly removed the abbreviation from the title of the article. This was all before 8:00 that morning. And that was that. By the time my supervisor came in the entire e-mail and story had been changed and he never even knew about it until I told him what I had done.

Today we got another e-mail from the company with news articles. At the bottom of the e-mail there was a statement saying that several employees were offended by the abbreviation and found it was inappropriate for a business environment. The editors of the newsletter agreed, apologized for not realizing this sooner, and said it wouldn't happen again. I find it interesting that even though the e-mail was changed very early in the day several people had already seen the original and posted complaints. So I guess I wasn't alone.

Tommy

News coming from the Wikileaks has certainly made for some interesting viewing. Also interesting is one of the government's responses to it. The government has said that the information on the WikiLeaks web site is potentially classified, and many federal agencies, including the White House and the Department of Defense, have directed military, federal employees and contractor personnel not to access the WikiLeaks web site.

In addition, sanctions can be placed against contractor employees who hold a government security clearance who visit WikiLeaks. One of the government memorandums regarding WikiLeaks, said accessing the site could "provide justification for local security officials to immediately remove, suspend 'for cause' all security clearances and accesses." The government takes the position that classified material is not declassified by unauthorized release.

As far as the rationale goes, this sounds reasonable. However, it also seems a bit impossible. Several major news outlets have gotten their hands on this information and are reporting it. So according to this policy are we now supposed to avert our eyes and cover our ears whenever we see or hear the leaks being presented? Or maybe if a contractor is amongst friends who are talking about it, is he supposed to say, “excuse me but could you please change the subject, I’m not allowed to participate in this conversation because the government could pull my contract if it finds out.”?

All of this has reminded me that today is tasteful Thursday. Many years ago the Who made a famous rock opera called Tommy. The opera is about the deaf, dumb and blind kid who became a famous "pinball wizard". At the beginning of the opera when Tommy is still just a small child can see, hear and talk, but during his childhood he witnesses a tragedy and loses those senses when his parents find out it.

As the lyrics go to "You Didn't Hear It"
You didn't hear it
You didn't see it.
You won't say nothing to no one
ever in your life.